After Prayer

More a reflection than a poem, this somehow still wanted appear in poetic form:

Prayer is the raw material,
the stuff
the starting point.

Where shall I take it then?

When the quiet,
the intention,
have built
into a swirling ball of light.

When the web hums
with prayer,
like orb-weaver’s web
when she shakes it
in the morning sun.

The time comes
when prayer must be shaped,
molded into form and action.

 

Gratitude List:
1. Watching my children sleep, curled like seeds or sprawled on their backs, one leg cocked like they are about to leap off in the dance or a fencing match.  Or half curled, like they’re mid-stride in a marathon.  One is still in the exact same position I left him in last night.  The other has been moving about in his sleep.
2. The current roadside triumvirate of day lily, Queen Anne’s lace, and chicory peeking like a blue eye among them.
3. Those who care for the children.  People who foster children in need of loving homes, who take that belief that they are all our children into loving action.
4. Gathering, harvesting, filing, preparing–all these ideas for the coming work of the fall.
5. “Song of Peace,” the words set to the tune of Finlandia.

May we walk in Beauty!

Make it all a Prayer

(tanka)

make it all a prayer
each motion, each thought, each step
feel the connection
that silver strand that pulls you
to the heart of another

Gratitude List:
1. Those planets snuggled up to the moon at dusk yesterday.  Any of my star-folk friends know who they were?
2. Making art with my RVRGRL and my Animalboy.  In the time of the beginning, there was a cave. . .
3. Yesterday someone I love anointed my head with oil.  We were thinking more of protecting the crown chakra than of the 23rd Psalm, but I think it was kind of the same thing.  I was tenderly shepherded.
4. Reading about reading.  To say that preparing for teaching in the fall is a stimulating experience is an understatement of vast proportions.  I love to feel The Teacher re-waking within me.
5. How have I not yet had a gratitude dedicated to tomatoes?  Summertime tomatoes!  Red ones!  Pink ones!  Stripey ones!  Golden sunshiny yellow ones!  Deep purple and indigo ones!  Wintry grocery store tomatoes taste like styrofoam and sawdust and the people who pick them are not given fair wages or healthy living conditions–don’t eat them; please, don’t eat them.  Summertime tomatoes are luscious and wonderful, and they’re usually harvested by your local adorable farmer.

May we walk in Beauty!

Summer Morning Tanka

the first is the crow
then mourning dove on a wire
sparrow tremolo
a dog barks up the hollow
and the day is beginning

Gratitude List:
1. Morning yoga practice.  It’s very short, but a few balance poses in the morning make me feel balanced all day.
2. Putting a plan into action
3. Making new friends
4. Feedback
5. Research

May we walk in Beauty!

Waking to the Rain

Sometimes the things that fill me with gratitude are great and weighty: The deep sharing of each others’ lives that friends do.  The way the Universe sometimes seems to be conspiring to make things work out.  The way things work out after they haven’t worked out.  Change and Permanence.

Sometimes they’re simpler: Rain.  Crows jabbering in the bosque.   The taste of the year’s first fresh tomato.  A small feather and a white stone.  Snuggly children.

I try not to separate them out from each other, not to suggest that getting a job is more important, more gratitude-filled, than a turtle sliding over the grass.  I want them to be jumbled up in there, the feelings and the noticings, the ideas and the bright colors.  That’s how it is in the world–they’re all jumbled up together.  You have to have both the steady warp and the colorful weft to weave the rug.

When I read a poem that grabs me or see a piece of art that really catches me, often it’s the way apparently unrelated things are juxtaposed together that really transports me.  Collaging together the sparkle of dew on a spiderweb with the  support of a family through difficult times offers new meaning to both, perhaps.

As a spiritual and mental health practice, it keeps me noticing the inward and the outward, paying attention to the ways that the inner and outer worlds intersect and inform each other, how some little thing that I might notice in the outer world is really an image for the inner realm.  On days when I get into a broody funk, when I am having inner conversations with my rage or despair or sadness, knowing that I have to find my gratitudes makes me focus on things outside myself and my inner tangles, draws me out of the darkest parts of the labyrinth.  It helps me to keep perspective.

And it also becomes like a prayer.  When I listen to that defiant cawing of the crows and note how deeply it satisfies me on some level, it doesn’t cover up and distract me entirely from the anger at the frackers.  But part of me sends that crow energy, like a prayer, to the people who are fighting the destruction of our natural resources for corporate gain.  When I feel the thrill of watching the impossible flight of a tiny hummingbird, it doesn’t cover up the sadness I feel for a friend in great pain.  But the hummingbird becomes part of my prayer for the lightening of burden and ease of my friend, for eventual joy to break through.

Today, I am grateful for what this practice has brought me, how it helps me to live in the moment, to keep perspective, to hold it lightly, to carry sadness and joy together in the same basket.  May your day be filled with sparkling raindrops and the coolness of rain-filled breezes.  May a bright color grab your soul by the sleeve and say, “Notice me!”  May you feel today the love of someone wrapped around you like an afghan made by a grandmother.

Having said all that, my list today, id filled with outward noticing.  Or is it?

Gratitude List:
1. Waking (after sleeping in) to the sound of rain and of birds singing their rain songs in the hollow
2. Bats!  They’re back at work
3, Giggling children playing hide and seek in their grandparents’ house
4. Helena’s magical mulberry pie
5. Teeny tiny toads.  Teeny, teeny tiny toads!

May we walk in Beauty!

Season of Orange

Gratitude List:

1. Jon Weaver-Kreider, who tends the milkweed
2. Monarch in the milkweed.  I’m sure it must have been a female, there to lay as many eggs as monarchly possible.  Please, I want to live in a world where this is cause for gentle seasonal joy rather than a wild, fretful hope.
3. Refining the systems
4. Laughter
5. Day lilies–Ah!  This is the season of orange: monarchs and lilies.

May we walk in Beauty!

Fragments of a Letter I have been Meaning to Write

I
We handed you our trust, that egg,
so gently cradled in our palms,
our fingers making a cage to hold it
until we could be certain it was safe
in your own careful hands,
in the nest of your own heart.

II
I am thinking about freedom,
how you are free to do whatever you choose,
and how you are never truly free of consequence.
You may think you act alone,
but everything reverberates,
everything resonates.
It all ripples outward.

The tremors of one selfish choice
can grow into a quake that shakes a village.

So too must the good ones grow,
like instruments in an orchestra
building the sound together,
until a great and mighty
river of sound transports us.

III
You chose shame for shame.
So that will not be the name
I choose for this poem.
You chose the clothes you would wear for this one,
and soon enough the world will see your costume.
I will witness, but I can offer you nothing
but small pity, perhaps, for what broke you first.

IV
These angry squirrels gnaw and chase,
racing through my brain,
but I will not let them make me choose to hate.
I will not let them make me choose to hate.

 

Gratitude List:
1. The hope that good acts will grow and reverberate as surely as acts of cruelty and selfishness
2. Harvest, beautiful and lush and nourishing
3. How quickly the body can mend
4. Worms, down there under the soil, doing their work
5. Waking up to the clucking of the cuckoo in the bosque

May we all walk in Beauty

Pebbles

Wear today loosely,
like your grandmother’s shawl
or a hat that keeps blowing away in the breezes.

Wear it gently,
and hold it like you hold a kite
the moment before you release it to wind.

Walk through these hours
the way you waded through the creek
or up and down the beach that day,
picking up smooth and shiny pebbles,
pocketing them for later.

Tiny stones of moments
to sift through your fingers,
testing their weight
and feeling their coolness,
to place in a tray on the table.

This one, you’ll say.
This.  And this.

 

Gratitude List:
1. Naps
2. A Fabulous farm crew
3. Memories of winter
4. Echoes of laughter
5. Remembering and looking forward

May we walk in Beauty!