Here is my post for The Way of the Rose Novena today:

Crown of Thorns Novena
Day 35 , Wednesday, 28 January 2026
Sorrowful Mysteries:
You Do Not Have to Take the Shame They Hand You

Today we walk the rooms of the Sorrowful Mysteries: Agony of Anticipated Trauma, Pain of Scourging, Shameful Crown of Thorns, Carrying the Burden, and Death.

After the agony, after the pain, comes the public shaming, mocking, and humiliation of the Crown of Thorns, the shadowy reversals, the gaslighting. The propaganda. The victim-blaming. The outright lies.

Stripped naked, beaten, and put on trial,
forced to listen to the Authorities build their narrative against you:
This is who you said you were, but we know better.
You thought you were so great.
He said he was the King.
They’re not protestors and protectors;
they’re domestic terrorists and violent extremists.
She tried to run him over.
He brandished a gun.
They deserved to be shot.
She’s a witch: Burn her!
He’s a heretic: Execute him!
What was she wearing?
He had it coming.
You deserved it.
You’re too fat, too thin.
Too driven, too lazy.
Not worthy.

It’s nothing new, this tendency of Empire and authority and patriarchy to twist its evils into shame poured on the victims. You can’t believe the evidence of your senses. Order is more important than empathy. How dare you question the established order of things?

Shaming is meant to make you feel small. Powerless. Helpless. Unable and unworthy to stand up to power. Shaming makes you question your truth at the deepest levels. Makes you doubt yourself.

The truth is, if I accept the shame they offer me, then I have handed the narrative to others to take power over me. I’ve given away my agency, abdicated my responsibility for my own life. I’ll spend my days cringing, worrying that someone will see my true shameful self, instead of living into my own blossoming, into my power to create goodness in the world around me.

Practice:

Settle. Breathe. Rest in the Mother’s arms.

Can you bear to list (in your head or on paper) the messages you have been told (by the culture, by others, by yourself) about why you should feel shame? If you can, write them or remember them in your quiet space in the presence of the Mother.

[Here are some of mine, for full disclosure, and probably over-sharing. Note that not all of them are true, or shameful. They’re just what I’ve been handed. I’m messy, chaotic, lazy, a hoarder. I’m too fat, too distractable, too loud, too emotional. I make decisions too fast, and I work too slow. I have hurt people’s feelings, ignored people who needed my attention, and made a fool of myself trying to be the center of attention. More and more and more. . .]

Stop.

Feel her tender gaze upon you. At some of these items on your list, can you see her shake her head, hear her tell you how very worthy you are? At others, you can hear her chuckle: “Darling One, you try so very hard. Rest now.” Or, “This is not you at all, only what others try to make you believe about yourself.” And maybe after one or two: “Let’s work on that one together, you and I.” Remind yourself that she loves you no matter what, that she will always love you, that you do not have to DO anything or perform anything to be worthy of her love. If you wrote a list of things you have been told to be ashamed of: burn it, or flush it, or put it under a rock.

(Note: I would like to say also that I don’t think shaming is always inappropriate. For instance, right now I want to say, “Shame on the leaders who are authorizing and encouraging kidnapping, terror, and death. Shame on the ones who hurt our children! Shame on the ones who execute people in the street, on the ones who break into people’s houses, on the ones who kidnap children and use them as bait, on the ones who refuse to see all people as our neighbors.”)