Color and Light

DSCN8368

Yesterday, when I was talking to a student about the really effective way she used quotations by Nietzsche and the Beatles in her Credo paper, she grinned and called herself a Quote Hoarder.  I am one of those, too.  I have to make sure that I don’t just hoard them, but that I spend time reflecting on them as well.  When I take time to contemplate thoughtful phrases, they have a way of popping back into my consciousness at the right moment.

I have been thinking about color and light in the last few days, pondering what I read in Michael Schneider’s Beginner’s Guide to Constructing the Universe about the different ways that color works when it appears as light or as pigment.  The quote that keeps coming back to me as I think about color and light is another of Nietzsche’s: “Color is the pain of light.”   The pure white light is fractured and splintered and we get color, and color blesses the world with such beauty.

I know people who are like the light in this way.  The ways in which they have been fractured and splintered and wounded become colors that reach out and heal and call to others around them.  Perhaps when we are broken open and pulled beyond the scope of what we think we can bear, then new inner capacities appear like colors at the edges of our vision.

Gratitude List:
1. The earnest good will of young people who want to make the world a better place.  I know I have said it before, but perhaps not recently: The future of the world will be in really good hands if the teenagers I know are any indication.  It makes me want to be even more conscientious about doing my part to make it a better place for them to inherit.
2. Color.  I think I need to take art classes this summer.  I want to learn more about color.
3. Gearing up for the season.  Circumstances have nudged us back into a doing a CSA again this year, though in a somewhat limited fashion.  We’re feeling energized and excited.
4. Hidden capacities that appear when they are needed.
5. Spring is coming.

May we walk in Beauty!

Fractured Light and Hope of a New Heart

DSCN7864
Last year, I posted this picture I took at the Lancaster Science Factory.  This past weekend I was reading about the colors of light.  Somehow I can’t quite figure out the primaries here–they look the same as physical pigments  to me, or like the secondaries of light: turquoise, magenta, and yellow.  My tech kids at school would be able to explain it to me, I bet.  I am taking a personal day next month to accompany my first-grader’s class on a field trip to the same place.  I will make sure my group hangs out in the light room for a while.

I wrote the following poem/piece last year when we were learning that my friend Kyla’s heart and lung issues were due to Emery Dreifuss Muscular Dystrophy.  Just last week, she was approved by the Duke University Hospital Transplant Team to go on their heart transplant list. Now a new kind of waiting commences.

“There is much I would write this morning, so much I need to learn about myself today,
if only I could write it out.  There is a prayer of sorts, waiting to find its way into the world,
to cast its golden threads through the air.

There is a poem waiting too, about a mother and a daughter,
about the house of the heart, about how I want to join
with a village of women to encircle that house, to sing,
to gather river water, to cook beans and rice, to comb their hair, to sit in silence,
to hold their feet in our hands, to anoint them with precious oils.
Perhaps this is that poem.”

Gratitude List:
1. Health: One boy is up and bright-eyed.  Both of them stayed home yesterday, but there is no way that this is going to let himself miss March Math Madness.  Last year he helped bring his Kindergarten class the trophy for their age group, and he is determined to do the same for first grade this year.  I, too, was not doing well yesterday.  I was sure I was getting an ear infection yesterday, but the shooting pains and the hot ear are back to normal today.
2. Flexibility.  Schedules.  Spines.  Attitudes.
3. Whoever that is singing out in the neighbor’s walnut tree.  Sun must be rising.
4. Easter Break is coming, and I have a couple built-in snow days to enjoy, but now in spring-time weather.
5. Last night’s dream.  I think it was a game.  There were bins and racks of fabrics and old clothes and costume jewelry and things, and we were told to make something interesting.  I was having so much fun tearing an old linen sheet into strips to crochet into a scarf when my alarm woke me.  I had my eye on some blue-green yarn, and now I am afraid someone else got it.  Sigh.

May we walk in Beauty!

Marking the Seasons

2013 May 051

orange moon hangs low
caught in the oak tree’s branches
morning comes slowly

Gratitude List:
1. Campus Chorale concert last evening, and the way the boys let themselves get totally absorbed in the music.
2. More senior presentations tonight. I love my role in this rite of passage.
3. Marking the seasons.  This is the first week of spring, and also Holy Week in the Christian calendar.  Lots of pieces to contemplate.
4. Morning snuggles.
5. Owls.

May we walk in Beauty!

DSCN9065
Hello, Speedwell!  Happy Spring to you, too!
Speedwell, tiny bright eye of spring.  Blue of sky, shot through with strands of deep blue threads of Mary’s robe.
Yesterday I saw a patch of dead nettle, such a bright purple against the dry golden grasses and the mud of the field.
And the shaggy forsythia is pushing out yellow blossoms.

May spring come to your spirit,
first the moment of exquisite balance,
when your night and your day have equal play within you.
Then the riot of song in the mornings,
calling you out and outward,
warmth returning to your bones
and sunlight on your hair,
rain that soaks the ground around you,
nourishing your roots.

Look around:
What is ready to hatch?
What is coming to birth in your spirit?
How will the season nurture this new thing
within you?

Gratitude List:
1. Balance
2. Rebirth
3. Transformation
4. Intention
5. Joy

May we walk in Beauty!

Sleepy Saturday

DSCN9059
Good morning, Sunshine!

Gratitude List:
1. Purple and Gold.  ‘Tis the season of gold and purple: aconite and myrtle, daffodil and crocus, forsythia and windflower.
2. Sleeping in.
3. Bluebirds.  Just beneath the high and insistent shrill of the Dawn Chorus, the bluebirds and mumbling and muttering.  They always seem to be saying, “It’s okay, Little One.  Everything is going to be okay.”
4. That baby green bursting out everywhere.
5. Curiosity.  Particularly the curiosity of children.

May we walk in Beauty!  So much Love!

Glorious List

DSCN9061

Gratitude List:
(Sometimes I accidentally type Gratitude Lost.  This morning, before I had engaged my brain, I started typing Glorious List.  Perhaps I should have let that stand.)
1. Beginning the process of blessing and launching these young people into the world in their evenings of Senior Presentations.  It’s a high expectation we place upon them, to call them World-Changers.  They are each, in their own ways, prepared to make the world a better place with the gifts and skills and compassion that they have been nurturing in their time at our school.  I am so proud of them.  Monday will be my last evening of blessing the last half of my crew.
2. A single crow rowing her way across an overcast sky.
3. The ducks are wandering all over the school these days, searching for nesting sites.  They quack outside my window.  I actually like when the natural world distracts us from the scholarly task at hand.  It’s a reminder that this work is only part of what they are to learn.  I should run out to the shop before I go to school and see if I can find that old plywood nesting box from the chicken coop to put outside my window.
4. Kyla has been approved for a heart transplant.  Now begins a new kind of waiting, but meanwhile, knowing that there is a team ready to work with her, a great weight is lifted. The cycles of life and death are so intimately woven together.
5. Rooms and fields where we all can find a home.  I don’t know how to say it less cryptically at this moment, but it is a profoundly important part of my gratitude list today.

May we walk in Beauty!

Green Willow and Golden Fish

DSCN9066
Infant leaves and developing catkin on the little willow tree.

Gratitude List:
1. Willow trees. The bark of the tiny new willow by the mint patch went a vibrant yellow green a couple weeks ago, and now, all of a sudden, the leaf buds have burst open, and tiny leaves and catkins have appeared.  I love willow trees, and this gangly youngster has begun to stand straighter and more confidently since last year’s wobbly beginning.
2. A great golden fish.  We went walking and exploring by the pond yesterday after school, and had our first spring sighting of Golda, Lady of the Fish.  I am always so relieved in spring to see her, so grateful that she has survived another winter.  Of course, I know she is adapted to live and thrive through the cold, and she will likely outlive me (some koi live over 200 years), but I always worry just the littlest bit.
3. Senior Presentations.  My seniors in my advisory group are nervous about their presentations tonight and Monday.  I gave them a positive and hopeful pep talk yesterday–I hope they couldn’t see how nervous I am, too.  I want these moments to become powerful and rich memories for them.  I want to bless them as they step forward into the next phase of their lives.  I am so proud of them.  I know that they struggle to understand why we make them do this process of presenting their lives and learning to the community, but I love it, offering them this moment to reflect on what has brought them to this moment in their lives.  Fly well, Bright Ones!
4. Not being sick.  I felt so terrible last night, I went to bed at 9:30, hoping to stave off whatever cold or ick-thingie was trying to make a home in me.  It seems (knock on wood) to have worked.
5. Elderberry syrup.  I am following up that good sleep with some of Tabea’s good elderberry syrup.

May we walk in Beauty!

Rhythm and Change

DSCN9011

Gratitude List:
1. Reassessing.  Watching someone have the courage to say, “This doesn’t work.  I am going to try something different.”  Because sometimes will and determination aren’t about perseverating and following through on that one thing despite all indications that it isn’t working.  Sometimes will and determination are about having the wisdom and grace to say that it’s time to find a different new thing.
2. How community forms naturally and organically when it is given the spaces and the rooms in which to thrive.
3. How there is always something more to strive for and to learn.  This sometimes looks pretty crunchy–I can feel like I am always inadequate, never quite up to the task, never quite the best best that I can be.  Or I can remember that I am never completely formed, never static, never done, but that there are always new ways to grow and develop and change, to transform.
4. Rhythms.  Things are always changing.  Things are always staying the same.  Like fractals, the patterns repeat endlessly with intricate variations that create complexity and beauty.
5. I hear phoebe calling this week.  Welcome back, Wing-friends!

May we walk in Beauty!

Two Hands

DSCN9021

Gratitude List:
1. Two hands: one to hold the terrible, and one to hold the wonderful.  Breathing into the spaces between.
2. How the heart holds stories
3. Shades of red.  Shades of green.  The red buds of leaves popping out on the tree outside my classroom window, against the mossy green of the trunk.
4. Burrito for lunch
5. Transformation

May we walk in Beauty!

Reminders

DSCN9032

Gratitude List:
1. Reminders: It is well.  All shall be well.
2. Calls to be courageous in the face of that which feels threatening.
3. Interfaith and intercultural dialogue.  Many gratitudes to the folks who invited a groups from the local Islamic Center to visit church yesterday.
4. Sleep.  Deep, long, sound sleep.
5. Fellowship meals: The people at my church know what to do with kale.  And there were plenty of brownies to go around.

May we walk in Beauty!