Doing it Myself

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Gratitude List:
1. With a little coaching from a colleague, a helpful Youtube video, and the assistance of my 9yo IT guy, I fixed the wonky Chromebook screen.  Without sending it off to an expert.  I am more than just a little bit proud of myself. . .
2. Online geography quizzes.  It’s never too late for an old dog to learn a little more about the world she lives in.
3. You and I both woke up this morning.  Isn’t that grand?
4. The way the sun shines on the snow, blindingly.
5. Small folks up and busy right away, making things, humming, chattering happily.  (This is one of those gratitudes that can give a wrong impression if you read it as a statement of always-is.  We do have many mornings like this, but there are equal numbers of mornings when there is whining and fussing and complaining, so the gratitude has to do with recognizing the balance moments when they come and not focusing on the frustration of the out-of-balance moments.) {Okay, so in the ten minutes since I wrote this, there has been some more squabbling.  Still, I am holding out for pleasantness this morning.}

May we walk in Beauty!  May we Shine.

Beads, Like Grace

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Slipping into the arms of an old friend,
I pulled back to look in her shining eyes,
and my beads went skittering over the floor,
heart beads, rose quartz and green aventurine,
so much that has been held back
no longer contained,
scattering like grace
underfoot
and into every corner
ready to be found
by you.

Gratitude List:
1. Beads scattering everywhere, shattering something that needed to be opened
2. Time to just hang out with my colleagues last night, and meet potential new students
3. Weekends
4. This red woven scarf–recycled silk saris.  What life did they live before?  Who was beautiful in these shining threads?
5. The sun is returning.  (Blessed be.)

May we walk in Beauty!

Part of the Bowl

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(Josiah’s Jack Frost Picture)

Gratitude List:
1. Tonight’s Open House at school.  I love that I work for a place where I anticipate such an event.
2. Being part of the bowl.  Sometimes when someone you love is in a hard spot, all you can do is step into the circle, grab hands with the people beside you, and become part of the net that holds your loved one.  I am grateful for the net of love that connects even strangers in such times, that makes family of us all.  Now for grace and patience and earnestly holding the energy of prayer/healing/light.
3. Bobby Mcferrin’s setting of Psalm 23 (you can google it on youtube) {Oy.  If only my thirty-something self could hear me talking like that.  She’d roll her eyes, of course.}
4. Elderberry syrup and ginger tincture.  And zinc. (And Dragon’s Breath, if the sniffles progress much further.) I am not going to catch the cold.
5. Organizing.  Shifting.  Making spaces.

May we walk in Beauty!

Back to Work

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Gratitude List:
1. Back to the rhythm, with lots of extra prep time under my belt.
2. The words of Rumi.  Today: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.”
3. The helpers
4. That wren out there, welcoming in the morning
5. Onions and mushrooms sauteéd in butter

May we walk in Beauty!  Beauty all around.

How Sun Comes to the Hollow

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This is how sun comes to the hollow:
The day arrives before the sun comes in,
the bowl of hills holding the morning,
shadowless and muted,

and then the tops of trees go golden,
branches like spiderwebs catching the sun,
and golden travels down the trunks of oak and locust,

and then a star emerges
over the southeastern rim of the bowl,
pulling shadows out of everything,
spilling gold over the fields.

Gratitude List:
1. One more snow day.  I really needed these snow days right now.  I’d’ve managed, of course, but now I feel less like I’m free-falling into the semester.  Two days of rest and contemplation after doing the grades is perfect for me.
2. One more snow day, which is to say: sleeping in.  I slept until after 7.
3. One more snow day, which is to say: hanging out with the fellas.
4. Anticipating the return to rhythm.
5. Memory of green.

May we walk in Beauty!

Digging Out

Gratitude List:
1. The Good Samaritan
2. in his red pickup with a snowplow
3. who drove by on his way to a plowing job as I was trying to tackle this 3.5-foot wall of compressed snow

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4. and turned it into this:
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taking HOURS of work off our plates.
5. The shining blue at the heart of the snowbank
6. Sending in first semester’s grades.  Every few months, I get this marvelous sense of completion when I send in the grades for a completed semester: that chapter is closed.  Now I can focus on this one.  Sure, there’s often a trial by fire in the last days before grades are due, when I don’t know if I’ll get it all done in time, but it is satisfying to meet the deadline.  And of course, there’s the earnest pledge to myself to create more reasonable end-of-semester grading next time (I think I can manage it this semester!).

May we walk in Beauty!
Take care of each other!

Someone Has Been Walking Here

“We carry ourselves wherever we go and we cannot escape by mere flight.” –Matrona I

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Some people have been walking here.

Gratitude List:
1. Moonshadows.  Did you see the faeries out there last night?  Such magic.  And this morning, it was starshadows.  Starshadows! (I have not seen the five all strung out in their line, but this morning one was pulsing, twinkling at me through the branches of the walnut and sycamore trees, oh so brightly.)
2. The internet connection that makes it possible for me to see what everybody else’s snow looks like on these snowbound days.
3. Getting the work done.  I’ve got this.
4. Baked Oatmeal.  It’s what’s for breakfast.  (Apples in there.)
5. Snow ice cream.  It’s what’s for snack.  (3 cups of snow.  Mix in 1/2 c. sugar, 1 c. milk, and 1 tsp. vanilla.  Add another 2-3 cups of snow.  Serve immediately.)

May we walk in Beauty!

Snowy Day

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Gratitude List:
1. Thundersnow (though, frankly, I could have done without the lightning when I was out shoveling a spot for Fred).
2. The children’s delight in the snow.
3. A warm and cozy house.  (I am worried about what the women from the shelter are doing today, hoping someone has made arrangements for them to have indoor spaces today, hoping that there were intrepid volunteers to staff the shelter this weekend.)
4. Word play.
5. Snow.  Did I say snow?  (Oooh, there was another crash of thunder just now!)

May we walk in Beauty!
Stay warm, ya’ll.

True Names

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I gave my students in Creative Writing an assignment to create a collage and then write a short story or poem or essay that was sparked by the images that came together.  The idea was to begin the semester by unhitching the horse of the brain from the writing process for a moment–letting the creative urge impel them–and also to get them working with images right away.

I haven’t taken a photo of my collage yet, but here is the poem I wrote in response to them (I always seem to make two collages at a time).  A friend of mine recently turned me on to Francisco X. Alarcon’s poetry (he died a couple days ago), and I am finding the simplicity of his work to be incredibly powerful.  I cannot quite get myself to simplify enough to really be Alarconesque, but it was a powerful poetic experience to work in his style.  Also, we have been working with models of professional writers as a way to spark creativity, and we were working with an Ursula Le Guin short story about True Names, and that also found its way into my poem:

fire and flight

after the fire
has kindled
within you
patient gestation
of coals beneath
your heart
between
your ribs

fire within you
fire in the earth
fire in the fruit
the egg
the seed

flames will burst forth
and you will rise

you will know
your wings
you will
open your feathers
catch the breezes

the old world
of magic and monsters
will fall away
below you

you will dance
on pillows of cloud
you will swim
in rivers of air

you will hear your
true name
in the voice
of the wind

Gratitude List:
1. The promise of snow.  (I know, it causes anxiety, too, not knowing what will happen, but I look forward to being cocooned in the house for a time.)
2. Making collage.  Perhaps it was an entirely personal agenda to give that assignment, but I had fun making my own collages.
3. Lights at ends of tunnels.
4. Taking root.  Taking flight.
5. True Names.  One of your True Names is Beloved.

May we walk in Beauty!

Colors

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(We decided that with young readers in the house, it might be nice to have a sort of family creed or motto on the wall for them to explore, so we bought this one from Flinchbaugh’s Farm Market and gave it to ourselves for Christmas.  They read it out loud quite a lot.  The one about doing loud really well is, of course, their most vocal favorite.)

Gratitude List:
I have to be really careful to focus on the drive to work these days because I am driving into sunrise, and the colors tend to throw me toward a deep meditative mode.  I suppose I could try to attach symbolic significance to the various colors and the way they deepen my meditative state, but I’m not sure that it’s something nameable.  Yesterday there were wings of clouds that rose upward from the point where the sun was about to rise.  At their base they were a (1) glowing tangerine orange, which shaded upward through (2) magenta into a rich, deep (3) violet.  The tops of the clouds were rimed with a velvety (4) indigo, and behind it all was that pure and serene (5) aquamarine that I love so much.  I had to stop and get some snacks for my Advisory Group, and when I got back on the road, everything had shifted, and the clouds were, for a moment, a simple shining (6) gold.  I think I should take another art class with someone who can give me more vocabulary for color–the last art class I took was at Sunbridge College in 2002, and the color work we did there has become part of my regular meditations.

What experiences with color enrich your spirit?