Something from a Dream

You know about the woman
who walked through walls, right?
Her long-eyed gaze.
Her straightening of shoulders.
Lifted chin.
Deep breath.
Then

she’d slide right through.
A shimmering.
A sucking sound.
And then a ringing in your ears,
like a chime.

I don’t know if this
is story or poem or dream.
You saw her go,
you knew the distances
she’d traveled to get here.

I will never forget
the color of her eyes.

 

(That one needs a Dali clock in it somewhere.  Not sure exactly where it came from.  Sometimes those are the most delicious to write.)

Gratitude List:
1.  Wild weather.  Yes, I am anxious, too, about the possibility of flash flood, especially here on the farm.  But something King Lear-ish in me wants to go wander the hills in it.  It makes me feel so alive.
2. A lovely morning yesterday with my five-year-old.  He likes to shop.  So we went shopping.  Spent a long time at Hinkle’s just looking at all the little Schleich animals.  I fell in love with a chimpanzee mother and her baby.  He liked the alligator.  This is bittersweet.  In the fall, he and I will both be in school, and we will both be older and wiser.  May he always access his powerful ability to marvel and wonder.
3. Doodling.  It releases some sort of blockage in the brain, doesn’t it?  Makes you able to walk through walls, perhaps.
4. Bats.  They’re back in the hollow or out of hibernation, if that’s the story.  May they thrive here.
5. Did I mention the weather?  This wild rain.  It evokes.  Remember the sound of it on a tin roof?  Ooooh, wild rain, wild green.

May we walk in Beauty!

the trees obscure the water towers

I am entering a poem in a contest.  Robert Lee Brewer, the host of the Poetic Asides blog, has initiated a contest using his book as the basis.  Take one of his poems, and re-craft or respond or re-work it in some way.  I love the conversational nature of this.  It’s part of what I want poetry to be–conversation.  I don’t know if it’s ethically kosher to type up his poem and put it here next to mine without having asked him first, especially since I don’t have the know-how to indent his lines the way he did.  His is titled “the horizon is marked by water towers overlooking trees,” and the first line was “i’m through with you.”  Mine is a response, and I have patterned it pretty exactly after his, though with a rather different tone.

the trees obscure the water towers
by Elizabeth Weaver-Kreider

you may think you’re through
you with your stoic eyes
building elaborate fences

to escape my rabbit heart
last october and recite elegies
to fierce women pregnant with desire

but you’re not through with me
and my fine road to hell
paved with change and intention

and change has escaped your professorial eye
your old man’s disillusion
there’s so much we could’ve

but you can’t be really through
because tonight when I am out dancing
alone in fields under the moon

releasing the story of what was
you will come to me like leaves swirling
like the wild geese over the meadow

 

Gratitude List:
1. Poetic conversation
2. How ideas spark ideas, how creative thought fires creative thought
3. The peaceful faces of sleeping children
4. Awakening to birdsong (even if it gets me up way too early these days)
5. You.  You hold me and the rest of us so beautifully in your bowl of heart.  You teach me how to ask for help.  You show me light through the brambles.  You remind me to shoulder my ax, to notice the bright birds, to be careful on the path.  Mostly, you remind me not to despair because the world cannot be on the brink of disaster with helpers like you in it.

May we walk in Beauty!

Words on the Wolf

Oh, that wolf.
I’ve walked with her before,
known her own shadow for mine.

Never been one to run with the pack,
but I can say I know her,
have even felt her companionship
to be a comfort.

Still, when she howls at the door,
I lose all my post-modern feminist sensibility.

Translation:
I cower in terror
under the covers.

Translation:
I am not walking out that door.
No, this is not the time to make friends.

The old metaphor still stands.
My, what big teeth you have.
And I am so very small,
and my grandmother, my children,
so very fragile and helpless.

This story is so full of people,
yet there’s no one in this story but me.
So I shoulder my ax. . .

In order to make it through this story
you have to live each character
until you’ve circled back around,
seen your own shadow

and recognized
again
the wolf.

 

Gratitude List:
1. The wolf.  Still, she makes me quake.  Someday, I think she’ll get me.  But she keeps me moving, keeps me alive.
2. I got the job.  I can’t think of a way to say it that comes near to expressing my gratitude, my sense of things falling together as they needed to.  I will be teaching high school English at Lancaster Mennonite School, doing something I love, using the skills I was trained for, at my own alma mater.  I’ll be teaching kids from really diverse backgrounds, teaching a subject that fires me up.  I don’t have to relinquish either the poet or farmer identities.  And at its most basic it fulfills the two important elements that I was seeking: of being full-time work that fits the schedule of my family.
3. MOON.  I almost thought I could walk up the hill and take her in my arms.
4. That chilly mist out there.  Makes me feel like a hobbit.  I want to travel, to adventure.  Bring on the wolves–I’m ready!
5. Poetry.  Goodness.  Have I ever put poetry on my gratitude list?  I think it should be there every day, along with my family, along with breathing.

May we walk in Beauty!

 

Riff

I’m just going to riff on some sounds this morning, I think, get a train of thought going down the track and see where it goes.  Don’t mind me.  It all began when a friend posted a photo of a coyote on my FB page this morning.  Who knows what will come of it?  Sort of like the day that is being born at the moment.  I might just try to riff my way through the day a little bit, too.  Here goes:

when you post the photo
of that lonesome fellow
coyote on the go

when you know
how that long road
leads to nowhere
to nowhere

when you venture
through the veils
in the center of your dreams
in the very seeming center
of your dreams

then you believe
then you know
that the answer
will not show itself
in words

 

Gratitude List:
1. Word play
2. Sense of impending rain
3. Good solid sleep
4. More than one possibility
5. Writing on the porch

May we walk in Beauty!

May Fever

I don’t see how I can
be expected to participate
in this conversation

when bluebird, carrying his piece of sky,
has just flitted past my field of vision
and into a bough of pink dogwood.

How can I focus on these plans
and preparations and good ideas
when redwing has settled into the foxtails

and calls to me with his buzz and click,
making the grasses sway and dip?
When oriole’s bright flame

is setting fire to the treetop?
When the red-bellied woodpecker
shirrrrrrs and clucks

from the little pear tree?
When the carpenter bee hovers
in front of me, people-watching?

How can I listen to human conversation
when all these voices call incessantly,
whistling and chattering, begging my attention?

 

Gratitude List:
1. The wild, rampant imagination of a five-year-old
2. Bridge of Hope, and its commitment to building communities which protect children and end homelessness.
3. The subjunctive mood (google “Phuc Tran subjunctive” for a great TED talk on the subject)
4. My articulate sister Valerie, and the way she weaves words.
5. So much is dawning.  So much is greening.  So much is coming to birth.  Unfurl!

May we walk in Beauty!

Where Wonder Enters the Soul

Here is a re-post of a poem I posted last April 14.  I can’t believe that Oriole was here already in mid-April last year.  But this may have just been me hoping for their return to the hollow.  I don’t know.

Through the Door

These are the doorways.  The passages
where wonder enters the soul on tiptoe.
Here is the speedwell,
up from the earth and smiling through snow.
The breath of the wind
on the ice-white wing of the gull.

Gull’s feather,
the beating heart of the honeybee,
and the black lace veil of the monarch.
The moment of hush before sunrise.

These are the liminal spaces.
The cocked arm and quiet face of a sleeping child.
The birth of a new idea.
The rousing of thought to action
and action to hope.
The hope that is borne
on the wings of the wren.
The way the weight of sadness
will slide away from your eyes
to make a little room for joy.

This is the breaking news of the heart.
First the aconite and speedwell,
then windflower and crocus.
These are the vanguard, the silent scouts.

For the purposes of this poem
I will be equating gratitude with wonder
and wonder with spring.
Wonder enters on tiptoe.

A flash of impossible orange
flickers high in the sycamore.
From the newest leaves
on the highest branch
comes a rustling, then a whistle
like calling a dog.
The oriole returns to summon the summer home.

And you–you may stand in the doorway
as long as you like.
Let that bright bird
open spaces for new joy
to fill the rooms
where sadness used to be.

Book Cover
That poem appears on page 18 of my new book.
Buy it here.

Gratitude List:
1.  A wonderful job interview today at a place where I can happily imagine myself.  I know better than to assume anything, but if I do not get the job, I am still extremely grateful for the chance to talk about things that matter to me, and for the boost that this has given to my confidence.
2.  The way dreams work their way into daytime realities and help to navigate the emotional landscape.
3.  Robin’s eggs.  I have found three or four already this spring, and I can see where the careful pecking from inside opened them.
4.  Sunlight through ferns.
5.  The Birds of Fire.  This morning, thinking I was seeing a pair of blackbirds squabbling in the poplar tree, I was amazed to see that they were actually the rusty glowing embers of the Orchard Oriole.  A few minutes later, trying to find where the Baltimore Oriole was singing way at the top of the poplar, I suddenly saw that dancing orange flame of a bird, flitting from branch to branch.  Then Beauty, she said, “But wait!  There’s more!”  And this evening after supper, she showed us the dazzle of a scarlet tanager burning away in the pear tree.  And whose heart can encompass all that color–all that fire–in one day?

May we walk in Beauty!

Messages

2014 April 119

Insect hieroglyph.
Message for the guardians
of this green River.
Like thunderbirds on the rocks
where ancient ones tended her.

Gratitude List:
1. Blowing bubbles on the lawn.  Tonight was one of those occasions I hope the kids never forget.
2. You know how sometimes things fall apart?  And sometimes it feels like they’re sort of meant to fall apart so they can fall into place in a different way? The old paradigm needs to shatter sometimes in order for the new one to form.  And even if the new one doesn’t conform to my personal Plan A, it’s still a good thing that the old one is out of the way.
3. My parents.
4. Mockingbird, Oriole, Blue Jay.  And a story of a Red-Winged Blackbird.  Shiny wing-folk.
5. Jumping off the cliff.  There’s a rainbow out there somewhere to catch me.

May we walk in Beauty.

Dark Dreams

Trying to exorcise last night’s nightmare by poetry.

Dream Tanka

We played in sunshine,
but shadowed by foreboding.
Then the breezes died.
Then the birds stopped their singing.
Then the sun fell from the sky.

 

Gratitude List:
1. Starting online classes.  Getting my teaching certification back to active.
2. Spinach and egg pie
3. Talking to Mara on the phone today
4. A four-egg day.  In a three-hen flock, someone is over-achieving.
5. The Goldfinch Farm Crew.  It begins.

May we walk in Beauty!

Wind Commences to Sing

This one’s not mine.  It’s a Pima poem from In the Trail of the Wind: American Indian Poems and Ritual Orations that my friend Marie is letting me borrow.  I love the rhythm and imagery of this, and I want to copy it.

Wind Song

Wind now commences to sing;
Wind now commences to sing.
The land stretches before me,
Before me stretches away.

Wind’s house now is thundering.
Wind’s house now is thundering.
I go roaring over the land,
The land covered with thunder.

Over the windy mountains;
Over the windy mountains,
Came the myriad-legged wind;
The wind came running hither.

The Black Snake Wind came to me;
The Black Snake Wind came to me,
Came and wrapped itself about,
Came here running with its songs.

Gratitude List:
1.  May Day celebration at Wrightsville School.  Being known as Ellis’s mom.
2.  Still envisioning, creating a long-term plan amidst the short-term frenzy.
3.  Waking up in the morning creating lesson plans.  I think I am still a teacher.
4.  Flying Ms. Suzy’s marvelous kites!
5.  Sympathy card from the vet’s office.

May we walk in Beauty!

Calling it a Month

Today’s prompt–last one of the month–is “calling it a day.”  I really love these challenges, pushing myself to write even when I don’t feel inspired, to put something out there whether I am ready or not.  Sometimes I feel like I just toss out whatever scrap I can come up with, but occasionally that panic to not publicly embarrass myself seems to draw out poems I never knew I had in me.  So while I am looking forward to the rest, I’ll miss the challenge and the thrill of the day poem.

Calling it a Day

I came here because I thought–
oh never mind.  You see,

it’s been on my mind to–
well, you wouldn’t understand.

The band is packing up.
We’re totally out of peanuts, and
someone spilled wine
on my yellow dress.

I thought the dancing was fun.
Didn’t you like the dancing?
And the music kept it lively.

Were you about to say something?
Oh, I thought I heard you start to–
it doesn’t really matter now, does it?

Good night.
You sleep well, too.
Drive safely, now.

 

Gratitude List:
1. Secret poems sent to me by FB message and snail mail.  My heart is full.
2. Mirror, reflection, turning it back
3. Seeing through
4. Book Faeries
5. Networks

May we walk in Beauty!