Waiting on Words

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Waiting on the words
to do their usual tumble,
I will find instead
a pocketful of golden
leaves, and some scarlet berries.

Gratitude List:
1. Farm friends and farm crew.
2. Bringing the season to a close.  Moving on to a new Season.
3. Yellow carpet of leaves
4. The observations of a six-year-old.  This morning: “Fred’s legs aren’t made like ours are.  It seems like his knees come out of the backs of his legs.”
5. The light at the end of the tunnel.  It’s there, even when I can’t quite make it out in the distance.

May we walk in Beauty!

Never Enough

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A couple weeks ago, we took a ride on a little train, the Ma and Pa–we were in the open car, and our shadows raced along beside us in the leaves.

It’s never enough
to say that the eagle flies
over the River.
It’s never enough to say
that the River is flowing.

Gratitude List:
1. Den’s Service Center: Thursday at 4, I called them and said that I was on my way home from work with a slow leak in my tire.  They said they’d look at it, even though it would be the last (and busiest) half hour of their day.  I made it safely, they found the nail and fixed it, and they only charged me $13.
2. Harvest hymns in Friday morning hymn sing yesterday.
3. Oaks–less showy than the sugar maples, perhaps.  A rich rusty red.
4. The monarch I saw the other day at school.  I stepped outside in a brief moment, and there it was, dancing through the slanting autumn sun rays.
5. Breath.  (Ellis says I need to include things that I take for granted.  I agree.)

May we walk in Beauty!

Threads

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A spider’s web across the path spans the space from here to there:
the bridge across the River, the yarn I knot with my needles,
the trail of crumbs leading out of the woods, the pathway between us.

(Trying my hand at a Korean Sijo this morning.  http://www.ahapoetry.com/sijo.htm)

Gratitude List:
1. Thursday’s chapel speaker: mindful meditation.  Powerful.
2. Soba noodles and fall veggies stirred up in the cast iron wok.  That man is a mighty fine cook.
3. Bridges.  Webs.   Labyrinth pathways.  Strands of yarn being knitted or knotted or crocheted or woven. Narrative threads.
4. Quiet spaces.
5.  Sleep and coffee.

May we walk in Beauty!

Alignment

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here is how holy
in the center of waiting
there is a river
if you lift your eyes, listen
the moment will come to you

Gratitude List:
1. I love my job, but sometimes it’s just such a blessed relief to be on the outward arm of the week.
2. The little Zen garden my mother gave me years ago.  It’s been my kid bait.  They come up to my desk and make order in the universe while they talk to me, sometimes handing me golden nuggets of story while they work.  There’s one in each class who takes responsibility for tidying the Zen garden.
3. The satisfying alignment of planets in the mornings lately.  And Orion standing watch.
4. My Humans of New York Stories book came in the mail a couple days ago.  I would like to just sit in a little cocoon and pore through it.
5. Sugar maples.

May we walk in Beauty!

Because

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I think I have written before about how my poems often want to begin with the word so, as if I am beginning right in the middle of the conversation that you and I are having, and the poem itself is a continuation of thought rather than its own new thing.  Lately, when a poem starts to shape itself in the back of my brain, it wants to begin with because.  Do my poems want to justify themselves?  Defend their need to be?  Or are they themselves trying to explain the world to me?  Because the maple tree caught fire against the blue sky. . .  Because you were listening to the owl in the early morning. . .  The oddest thing about this particular compulsion is that when I look back to my poems at this time last year, because is a featured word there, too.  I wonder if October seeks for reasons.

Because October seeks a reason,
because the owl called down that crescent of a moon,
because I cannot get those words you said
to settle down in the room of my head.

Because of the way the stories grow inside us,
telling themselves in our sleep,
waiting to be taken by the hand
and led into the golden glare
of October afternoons.

Gratitude List:
1. October
2. Digging out of the hole
3. Sleep
4. Wrist warmers
5. Inhabiting the story

May we walk in Beauty!  Because.

White Rose and Blue Clouds

Gratitude List:
1. There is a Murmuration in the hollow, though it sounds perhaps more like a thousand screen doors screeking.  It can be positively deafening out there when the starlings are settling into the treetops.  In the videos of them flying above open land, they look like a single creature, made of light and motion.  We get a little of that show here in the hollow, though it’s much more contained within the bowl of the trees and so a little less fantastical.  For these few weeks while we have this crowd of treetop guests, I must be extremely careful where I park the car.  Apparently, they enjoy the purple poke berries, and they decorate the world with joyful abandon.  Still, I love them, and the way they fly like a veil twisting and twirling in the breezes.

2. Some days, teaching is really hard.  I have days when it feels like every lesson I diligently (or perhaps not-always-so-diligently) plan falls with a thud on the classroom floor.  Or I get snappy and grouchy with all the chatter and distraction.  On those days, I need to remember days like today.  Every class was somehow more focused, more thoughtful.  My favorite part was my two Academic Writing classes, where instead of having to cajole and badger to get people to read their essays, there were suddenly too many hands raised to get to them all, and every time someone would read their essay, everyone else had thoughtful feedback and supportive comments.  They called each other “courageous” and “gutsy” today. I think their writing is definitely improving, and their grammar is getting stronger, but the things that matter–their ability to make connections between ideas, to build bridges between themselves and others, to articulate their vision–these things are definitely growing and expanding.  I love sophomores.  They are so aptly named.  So wise.  So playful.

3. Holy synchronicities like this one.  One of the things that was shiny about class today had to do with the day’s poem, Jose Marti’s “The White Rose” (see below).  I put the Spanish original up on the board, and in every single class, they were immediately drawn to the puzzle of trying to pronounce it and trying to interpret it.  The kids with Spanish as a first language chuckled–politely–at those of us who learned in school as we tried to speak it carefully and tried to figure out the flow of the words.  Then I read them the English version.  One girl, who is perhaps only just now learning to believe in herself as a scholar, blurted out, “I get it!  It’s about turning the other cheek!”  Brilliant.
But the moment of holy coincidence came in the last period of the day, when one girl’s eyes started to sparkle when I read the poem.  She raised her hand to say that her grandmother is a niece or cousin of Jose Marti.

4. The blue bellies of the clouds on the way home today.  Once, during an art class I was taking, the teacher tried to teach us to recognize indigo by showing us the shadow part of the the underside of clouds.  That has become my baseline for recognizing indigo ever since.  The neurologist Oliver Sacks refers to the seeing of indigo as a numinous experience, and the plant and the dye process have been held in such honor through the centuries that I have begun to think of the experience of truly seeing indigo as a mystery.
The bellies of the clouds on the way home today may have actually been more of a cobalt, that shining blue that you see behind the clouds on a bright day.  But this was a shadow blue, right on the clouds, and so rich and shining a cobalt.  That, and the blue-ish ribbons of sun rays streaming down around Mount Pisgah as I drove home from work this evening, filled my soul.

5. Reading Madeline L’Engle with the kids.  We’re on to A Wind in the Door by now, and they’re not bored silly with all the talkiness.  They seem to get the idea of the Namers.

Be a Namer!  Walk in Beauty!

I HAVE A WHITE ROSE TO TEND

I have a white rose to tend
In July as in January;
I give it to the true friend
Who offers his frank hand to me.
And for the cruel one whose blows
Break the heart by which I live,
Thistle nor thorn do I give:
For him, too, I have a white rose.

CULTIVO UNA ROSA BLANCA… (Verso XXXIX)

Cultivo una rosa blanca,
En julio como en enero,
Para el amigo sincero
Que me da su mano franca.
Y para el cruel que me arranca
El corazón con que vivo,
Cardo ni oruga cultivo:
Cultivo la rosa blanca.

 

Hue and Shine

Gratitude List:
1. Russet, ochre, olive, sienna, onyx, taupe, orange, crimson, burgundy, umber, golden.  I think I just wrote an accidental poem there.  I love these colors and their names.  The maple trees are on fire.  The oaks are less showy, but just as rich in hue and shine.
2. Shine.  Even in yesterday’s drizzle, there was a shine and a brightness to the air.  Morning light in my classroom is almost unbearable, it is so exquisitely focused.  Afternoon light skates in like a stone being skipped off a pond, sparkling in at an angle.
3. Shine.  Even when they’re quiet or moody, there is a shine and a brightness to my students.  With the right topic and questions, they can become incredibly focused.  They sparkle, finding angles and shades of meanings in the finest of details.
4. Last night’s supper.  I like when a meal is so well-matched that I find myself stacking my bites: a bit of green bean, a bit of potato (make sure there’s a little of that parsley on it), and a bite of salmon patty.  Delicious.  Solid.  Nourishing.
5. I am told that this is a “screamy” band, and I have not actually heard the music, but one of my students has offered me this lyric from La Dispute: “We are not our failures.  We are only the extent to which we love.”

Today, let’s be love.  Let’s shine love like autumn light.  Let’s radiate all the colors of love.  May we walk in Beauty and in Love!

Falling and Rising

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Gratitude List:
1. The violin trio
2. October morning mists
3. Rising. (Or did I mean falling?)
4. The Ma and Pa Railroad.  History.
5. October afternoon sun

May we walk in Beauty!

The Moon, the Mist, and a Tiny Toad

Gratitude List:
1. Morning Moon and her two planetary companions
2. The way the leaves leaped from the trees like birds in the rain-breeze
3. The golden shine beneath the storm
4. A teeny tiny toad in the the leaf litter after the rain
5. The way the mist rose out of the Millstream by the old footbridge this morning and settled over the field like an old woman’s hair

May we walk in Beauty!

A Whole World in a Teeny Tiny Story

Beauty

Gratitude (no list today, but this):
Some days, the lesson plan sort of dissipates in the face of something else that takes over.  That happened today.  A couple times a week, I offer my students short, ungraded writing exercises at the beginning of class, just to keep the writing muscle toned.  Today, we wrote micro-fiction, trying to get a story into 6 words, but letting ourselves go up to 15, or maybe 20, and even more in a few cases.  In every class, there were teeny-tiny stories that took my breath away.

During 8th period, the stories kept coming, and people kept sharing, and it felt wrong to cut it short.  Something in the back of my head kept saying, “Umm.  We were planning to work with Dependent and Independent Clauses, and Participial Phrases and. . .” and another part of my brain (fortunately) told that first part to please sit down and be quiet a while.

One boy, who had been out of class for a couple weeks, told his tiny story.  Immediately a couple of the others raised their hands and wanted to talk about what they thought it meant.  Suddenly students were doing deep literary analyses of their classmates’ micro-stories.

Then a girl wrote a tiny story and explained that it was about race, and about how, even when you are successful in this culture, if you’re black, there’s a sense in which it’s never quite enough.  Nobody raised a hand to tell her differently.  They listened.  Oh, how they listened.

And then a boy raised his hand, the same one who recently returned to class, and he began to speak powerfully about resilience.  I worried for a moment that the girl might think he was telling her how she ought to feel, that because she didn’t know his story, she might think it was directed at her.  When he was done, she said, “I get what you are saying.”  Their eyes were shining as they left class today, and I didn’t do a thing but witness.

I am so glad that we did not study Participial Phrases today.

May we walk through our stories in Beauty!