Words on the Wolf

Oh, that wolf.
I’ve walked with her before,
known her own shadow for mine.

Never been one to run with the pack,
but I can say I know her,
have even felt her companionship
to be a comfort.

Still, when she howls at the door,
I lose all my post-modern feminist sensibility.

Translation:
I cower in terror
under the covers.

Translation:
I am not walking out that door.
No, this is not the time to make friends.

The old metaphor still stands.
My, what big teeth you have.
And I am so very small,
and my grandmother, my children,
so very fragile and helpless.

This story is so full of people,
yet there’s no one in this story but me.
So I shoulder my ax. . .

In order to make it through this story
you have to live each character
until you’ve circled back around,
seen your own shadow

and recognized
again
the wolf.

 

Gratitude List:
1. The wolf.  Still, she makes me quake.  Someday, I think she’ll get me.  But she keeps me moving, keeps me alive.
2. I got the job.  I can’t think of a way to say it that comes near to expressing my gratitude, my sense of things falling together as they needed to.  I will be teaching high school English at Lancaster Mennonite School, doing something I love, using the skills I was trained for, at my own alma mater.  I’ll be teaching kids from really diverse backgrounds, teaching a subject that fires me up.  I don’t have to relinquish either the poet or farmer identities.  And at its most basic it fulfills the two important elements that I was seeking: of being full-time work that fits the schedule of my family.
3. MOON.  I almost thought I could walk up the hill and take her in my arms.
4. That chilly mist out there.  Makes me feel like a hobbit.  I want to travel, to adventure.  Bring on the wolves–I’m ready!
5. Poetry.  Goodness.  Have I ever put poetry on my gratitude list?  I think it should be there every day, along with my family, along with breathing.

May we walk in Beauty!

 

May the Waters All Run Free

Yesterday’s prompt was to write a poem about water.  This is too big a subject for one day’s musing.  This poem will be a place-holder, an early draft.

May the Waters All Run Free

Remember your waters, children,
remember your waters.
Cherish the waters you come from.
Cherish the waters you belong to.

Listen, every day, for the flow,
the whoosh and shush
of the waters that run
in the rivers in your body.

Gather the waters that fall,
that run in streams down your roof.
Sprinkle them on the earth
and the thirsty green world
like a baptism, like a blessing.

Stand in the rain with your hands outstretched
and your face turned toward the sky.
Soak it in like a plant.

Find your rivers, your creeks.
Know them and speak to them.
Become a watcher of rivers,
a guardian of flow.
Tend them by your observation.
Let every river you cross
receive your attention, your benediction.

Remember your waters, children.
Remember your waters.

Immerse yourself in lakes and oceans.
Let water hold you, raise you.
Let water buoy you up.
Give over your control
to the arms of mother ocean.

Wander the borderlands
between the solid earth and water.
Learn the names and voices
of the ones who live there,
in the spaces between.

Walk back in your memories
to your very first waters,
the rivers and lakes of your childhood,
the ponds and the puddles and creeks.
Then walk further back and remember
the water you came from,
the amniotic sea where you were formed,
where you took shape.

Remember your waters, children.
Remember your waters.
May the waters all run free.
May the waters all run clean.

Talkin’ ‘Bout a Revolution

Today’s prompt is pop culture. I asked for a little help from my friends on FB, and got some great suggestions.  Someone posted a link to the 70s German one-hit-wonder M singing “Pop Muzik.”  While I moved quickly out of the lighthearted vein that this was in, it set me up to try to work the music of the poem with a more pop sensibility.

Talkin’ ‘Bout a Revolution

See, the Revolution just isn’t revolving
because we don’t seem to be evolving
past the days of women’s bodies on a platter.

And you say, “What does it matter?
Miley makes her money,
leaves ’em groaning in the aisles.
She’s all smiles when she’s taking it to the bank.
She’s taking charge of her sexuality.
Isn’t that the reality you longed for?”

You want me to add some clarity?
Yes, Miley, she’s sort of the epitome of what I’m saying.
A naked lady on a wrecking ball?
Is that where feminism goes today?  Is it all
we fought for?  All we marched and sang for?

Is this the new face of free agency?
Is it really Miley’s art, or the sexualized,
the monetized dreams of some old fart,
some dirty-minded, soul-soiled fat cat
who tells her she’s more free
on this golden leash he gives her
while he’s taking his percentage
like a greedy pimp?

“Baby, this is what women’s lib looks like today.
You’ve come such a long, long way.”

I say it’s all designed to blind us
to the rank disparity in gender equality,
to sing to sleep our feeling
of outrage at that old glass ceiling.

What does it say about the culture,
when the only place her earnings
outstrip his is when she sells her body
to fulfill his yearnings?
When her only real earning power
is in the photoshopped shape
of her body?

It’s not about being a Puritan or prude.
For instance, I don’t see much distance
between Miley’s agent dude
and his sanctimonious twin
who considers femaleness a sin,
who’d keep women safely stowed inside
away from the roving eyes
of men who can’t take responsibility
for their wayward impulsive sexuality.
Who believes that sexual assault
is half consensual, half her fault–
all for the sin of being female.

There’s one name for both, a single key
for that door: its name is Patriarchy.

I don’t think this pickle we’re in
is Miley’s or Lindsay’s or Britney’s fault.
They’re just as wrapped up, just as caught
in this chaotic nonsense as the rest of us.
But if we don’t keep our goals in sight,
this Revolution will go down with the best of us.

Book Cover
You can buy it here!

Gratitude List:

1. Turning on the radio this afternoon and catching the sweet voice of Jane Goodall speaking about the communicative ability of trees, telling the story of a tree from Ground Zero that was saved after 9/11, “The tree,” she said, “is called Survivor.  I have met her.  She is beautiful.”
2. Making one’s way through the maze.  My boys are obsessed with mazes right now.  And I feel like they’re working on something at a deep, subconscious level, that will serve them into their adult lives.
3. The softness of feathers, that something so soft and light would be strong enough to hold a bird in the air.  I need to remember that, that the softness and then tenderness might sometimes be the thing that keeps me aloft.
4.  The art of Kseniya Simonova
5.  My book is here!  My book is here!  My book is here!  Holding the Bowl of the Heart came in the mail today.  My second book of poems.  This is the one that I first worked out, then sent off to contests while I worked on my second book, which I published first.  I have felt such warmth of support from so many good people throughout this process.

May we walk in Beauty!

 

Elegy

Today, an elegy.  Sigh.  I don’t really want to go that direction.

I feel like I have really overblown the good memories of earlier Poem-a-Day experiences.  Looking back on that first November, I feel like every poem was a hit, or nearly so.  And I feel like I am pulling out my own teeth to get the words to flow this month.  Of course, not all my poems back in that first experience were winners, and I think that this month I at least have some good fodder to work with at the end of the month.

Mockingbird says, “Sometimes it’s like that.  Sometimes you don’t feel inspired or inspiring.  Write anyway.  Get out the dreck so you can let the pure clear waters flow.”  Ack.  Mockingbird.  Maybe I liked your growling better.

Elegy

I have not named it yet, this distance,
this door that stands between us.
Or I have, actually, I suppose,
but when a dragon sheds its skin
it takes on a new name befitting its changes,
and perhaps our story is like that,
needing a new naming
for each of the skins we have scratched off.

First, I called it Waiting.
Me waiting for you to call out
from your side of the door,
to say you needed me now,
to say you would be taking visitors again.

I made forays, you cannot say I didn’t,
and you met me, and that part
was called Wrestling and Wrangling.
I thought we were making progress
at opening that heavy door.

But it stays closed.
And I have sat here on this side of it,
worrying and brooding, and frustrated and sad,
for years, perhaps, and the cobwebs are heavy
upon me.  So heavy.  They weigh like shame.

I sat here so long simply waiting,
wondering whether I ought to just leave,
that I didn’t hear you tiptoe
off into the distance on your side of the door.

I think this is an elegy.
What comes next
will not be part of this story anymore.

Perhaps we’ll meet again,
newborn and fresh,
somewhere in Rumi’s field,
and that will be a new thing,
and I will bless it heartily.

(Now I will brush the cobwebs aside.
Now I will stand and step away from the door.)

2014 April 068
The view from High Point to the bridges.

Gratitude List:
1. Pink-nosed calf frolicking in the field and its careful mama keeping watch
2. Pink trees blooming everywhere
3. Snowball guineas on Ducktown Road
4. Putting it to rest
5. More and more poems on the Poetree

May we walk in Beauty!

The Other Names

<Prompt 9: Write a Poem titled “The Other _____”>  I feel like this one is only a sort of a beginning, but it will have to suffice for today.

What if the other name of God is Magic?
If the other name for Magic is Science?
Is Wonder, is Awe, is Hope?

What if the other name of Goddess is Art?
Is Music, is wailing, is howling, is bells,
is the sound of the wind in the branches?

What if you call out Oh Beauty!  Oh Marvel!
and the Voice Ineffable answers, Yes.  I Am.

Or this: What if the other name for Divine is
I Want, is I Need, is I Can’t Take It Anymore?
And you call it out and the Mystery
at the Heart of Everything answers
I Am Here.

 

Gratitude List:
1.  York’s amazing musicians and artists and poets.  What an honor it was to share the stage with such intense forces of artistry.
2.  How everybody’s secret nests are suddenly so visible, so vulnerable, without the leaf-cover.
3.  Betsy’s words about what the farm means.  This has been a day to feel deeply honored by the ways people feel a connection to this piece of land.
4.  Tomorrow we are buying a family fish, and the boys are anticipating it like Christmas.  Thank you, Sandra.
5.  Revising, re-visioning

Blessings on the roots.

Revision

I used to tie myself in knots with finding the perfect word or phrase for a poem, working and reworking ideas and sounds until things began to sound like something manufactured in a plastics factory.  Then, in November, when I decided I needed to loosen up or let my Poet die a quiet death, I found myself spewing random verbiage all over the place.  This was a good thing: my Poet survived.

Lately, the pendulum has begun to swing back again.  I don’t plan to let myself get knotted into that editorial straitjacket, but I do want to add a little more deliberation to my poetry again.  Here is a revision I worked up on my July first poem.  It’s not significantly different; the biggest change is in the line breaks.  I wanted to create more intention to the rhythm of the lines, with a sudden shift in the final stanza.  I think it works.  I’d be glad of any feedback you have about the differences between the poems.

These are the Days

These are the days when I become
a quiet rock, a quivering leaf,
an ear of lichen listening to the stones grow.

The words have wandered off on tiptoe,
eloquence eludes me, and all my sentences
begin with the word So.

So the wind will sing in my sun-rimed feathers
but my own story waits like a seed in the earth,
like a dream that must rise through mud, a bubble,

the nymph of a damselfly crawling through centuries
up the stalk of a smooth green reed
to be born to the clear blue light.

There is a roaring in my ears
like the sound of a newborn grief or rage.
But it’s only the lazy hum of summer,

of fireflies clicking their aching rhythms
into the velvet indigo of solstice,
communing with the waxing moon.

Another day I’ll dawn,
but for now I will sink
slowly into the pond
with Grandmother Moon
and leave my message with the fish.

 

Gratitude List:
1.  Variety
2.  Revision
3.  Sweaters and scarves in August
4.  Balance
5.  Partnership

May we walk in beauty.

Bhutan’s Happiness, Poetic Conversations, and Strawberries

Gratitude List:
1.  My dear friend Carol told me today that Bhutan calculates the GNP of Happiness.  I thought she was being poetic.  She told me she was serious, and I looked it up.  Bhutan monitors its GNH: Gross National Happiness.  This gives me intense satisfaction.
2.  Here’s the link to my interview with Carla Christopher, York’s Poet Laureate and all-around amazing person.  It was such an incredible honor.  I could have taken up the whole hour just to keep talking with her, thinking out loud about poetry together.  My part is near the beginning, just after Carla’s own amazing poem, but don’t stop there.  There are other really great poets and artists and musicians coming up after.
3.  We are ready.  Tomorrow morning the curtain will rise on season 2013 at Goldfinch Farm CSA, and we are ready to go.
4.  Picking strawberries in the rain.  Really.  It was a blast, and the crew is such fun, and you have to eat the seconds as you go until you get a stomach ache, but you can’t stop eating strawberries because the season is so short, and you have to stock up on strawberry goodness for another whole year.
5.  Finding myself at home in my own heart.

May we walk in Beauty!

Make a List

I almost forgot that I was going to post a prompt on March Fridays for a Monday poem.  How about a List poem this time?  The gratitude lists that I have made part of my daily practice are often as much a poetic exercise as a spiritual/emotional one.  Join me?  Mine will likely be a gratitude list, but any list counts.  Due Monday.  Read Naomi Shihab Nye’s Prayer in My Boot for some good inspiration.

Gratitude List for Friday:
1.  Working together with other farmers.  Good hard physical labor.  It doesn’t matter that some of the others could grab two fifty-pound bags of potatoes off the truck while I struggled to wrangle one at a time.  It felt good.
2.  That I am no longer carrying one of those fifty-pound bags around as personal weight, like I was 12 years ago.  My knees are grateful.
3.  Moose Tracks
4.  Library Book Sale!  I can indulge my addiction to my satisfaction and the money goes to a good cause.  (Now to find room on the shelves. . .)
5.  Growth
May we walk in beauty.
2013 March 032

Happy Dance

Gratitude List:
1.  Being Fourth Runner Up.  (At the beginning of November, I started this blog as a way to force myself to keep doing the regular exercise of writing a daily poem with Writer’s Digest blogger Robert Brewer’s prompts for the Poem-A-Day Chapbook Challenge.  I gathered the poems from that month, formed them into a chapbook with help from some wonderful women, and submitted it to the contest.  This morning I found out that I am the Fourth Runner Up!  That’s sort of like Sixth Place.  There’s no money or publication or fame attached, but it feels so good.  And the poems of the Winner and the Honorable Mention that Brewer posted this morning–they were really wonderful.  Now to prepare the manuscript to send to Finishing Line Press for their contest–deadline extended to the middle of March.)  Happy dance!
2.  Crows flying across the field in an Ursa Major formation
3.  Jen Brant’s amazing chocolate raspberry flour-less cake deliciousness
4.  Joy, joy, joy
5.  Hugs
May we walk in beauty.

Sticky Situation

This is Saturday’s poem.  It is so easy for me sometimes to let myself feel caught or bound by the whims of fate, or by other people’s expectations.  I often forget the principle that when I feel stuck, it’s usually my doing.  Here’s a poem about that feeling.

The fingers, the wickets, the Bandaids, the rut,
Raspberry jam on a three-year-old’s face,
It’s where I am in the middle with you,
Between that rock and hard place.

I’m rubber, Baby, you’re glue.
You know what happens when that stuff
bounces off me toward you.

You have me cornered in this muddle, this muck,
Wheels spinning in the mud,
Won’t you get me unstuck?

 

Prompt for Sunday

I’m going to leave the prompt open-ended today and see what finds me.  Join me?

 

Gratitude List:
1.  Sparkly greens
2.  Kale burritos
3.  Hard questions to consider
4.  Always something more to learn
5.  That singing purr of a warm cat on my lap.

May we walk in beauty.