Pantoum, Revisited

Last night I  posted a fragment of a pantoum that I hoped to finish today.  Instead, when my head hit the pillow, a new idea began to form, and now I have other ideas.  I think it’s not too thunky for a first pantoum.  I want to work on more of them just for the fun of it, though this one is thematically perhaps not so fun.

There are so many things to write.
There is more than a chicken egg, speckled blue,
more than the way the flash of sun momentarily overcomes sight,
more than way I am always seeking a path to you.

There is more to write than an egg, speckled blue.
There is apathy, for instance, and betrayal, and war,
there is always the way that I am seeking that path to you,
but there are drones that spill death on a distant valley floor.

There is the way that apathy and betrayal lead to war,
there is the fact that we use religion to excuse our hate,
and those drones keep spilling death on a distant valley floor,
while we ignore our role in it, while we hesitate.

Religion is a poor excuse for permission to hate.
And sunny dogmas often obscure our sight.
Take responsibility for each other, don’t hesitate.
There is so much more to write.
Prompt for Saturday

Okay, Sandra Collin, here goes.  Write a poem about sticky words.  I love this and am nervous that I won’t be able to do it any justice.  Thanks for the prompt!
Gratitude List:

1.  Dancing in fairy dust at the shop
2.  Unpacking a box of incense.  I smell so good!
3.  Kitty cuddles
4.  Rose Quartz
5.  Chicken Soup with Rice–the food and the book.

May we walk in beauty.

3 thoughts on “Pantoum, Revisited

  1. I’m so glad you shared yours, too, Daryl! I really get a sense of the grind of the times, and the ways patterns persist through time–the pantoum seems like a great form for working with that piece of it, I think. The repetition of the the phrases really heightens that–winds and tides and stories and balances. Thanks again for sharing it–a great poem!

    Like

    1. I also like how the meaning of a line can be deepened or changed by the context of other lines in repetition. Some pantoums I read have a clear shift in meaning by the time the first line is repeated as the last.

      Thanks for sharing your poetic journal with the rest of us. Gifts shared return like old friends.

      Like

  2. I like it, Beth! I think I happened upon “pantoum” in a dictionary game once, and I have found them fun. When I tried to write one with you, however, it didn’t come out very playful. I wasn’t planning to share it, but since you have opened the door a crack for rays of dark…

    Who is the Pharaoh now
    Mummy zombie in gilded casket cage
    Plagued by ruin of our own making
    Flashing armies in flooding Sea of Red

    Mummy zombie in gilded casket cage
    On what might be spent such hard-fought gold now
    Flashing armies in flooding Sea of Red
    Slaves rise up to full height chains shaking

    On what might be spent such hard-fought gold now
    For we surely near the end of an Age
    Slaves rise up to full height chains shaking
    New children now chosen for freedom instead

    For we surely near the end of an Age
    Hieroglyphic hierarchic pyramids fall
    New children now chosen for freedom instead
    Jubilee justice ancestors long awaited

    Hieroglyphic hierarchic empires fall
    Annals of stories are turning a page
    Jubilee justice ancestors long awaited
    Universal balance shift how we are read

    Annals of stories are turning a page
    Can you feel how the winds changed at the bow
    Universal balance shift how we are read
    Babylon storms are not quickly abated

    Can you feel how the winds changed at the bow
    Tides move sands of color like mountains
    Babylon storms are not quickly abated
    Scouring in flood the Earth of its stains

    Tides move sands of color like mountains
    Plagued by ruin of our own making
    Scouring in flood the Earth of its stains
    Who is the Pharaoh now

    Like

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.