Tying Up Loose Ends

Day 92:

Oooh. Good thing I did extra work on that self-judgement and self-compassion challenge yesterday. I got a lot of piecing done on the cardigan today, and I am feeling really judgy. It isn’t going to be big enough. I used a construction pattern I have seen everywhere for granny square cardigans, and it’s still too small. This leads to so many layers of self-criticism: about my crocheting, about my planning ability, about my body. I’m trying to sit with those emotions, give them a nod, and then move into problem-solving mode.

I could stop construction, make twenty (or 28?) more granny squares, and then finish the sweater. I could make a vest, using the granny squares I had made for the sleeves as extra rows on the sides. I could add rows and rows of double crochet or granny stitches before I sew up the sides.

I’m inclined to go the vest route for the moment. Then when I have a completed piece I will feel less despondent, and more likely to add sleeves later. I might not finish this in the next eight days, so I will have to figure out how to keep myself motivated for the finish. I think this process has changed me enough that I will be better at completing projects than I was beforehand.

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