So Much There Is

milkweedBlessings on your new year. Here is a little something:

So much there is
that cannot be told,
so much to unfold,
so many new meanings to try.

So much there is
that waits in the wings,
so many things
cannot find their sky,
that minuscule patch
of impossible blue
beyond the shadows
of this darkened room.

So many stories
have yet to be told,
so many adventures
of boldness to tell,
to live, to explore.

Open the windows,
pick up the pen,
and then tell me more,
tell me more,
tell me more!

 

Dream Big

It’s less than two hours away from 2015.  Perhaps I should be staying up with the other adventurous types and ringing in the New Year.  Instead, I am about to head to bed.  I’ll see what dreams this New Year’s Eve, this central night of Twelve Night will bring me.  Sweet Dreams to you.  Don’t be afraid to dream big dreams, to dream outrageous dreams, to dream in a thousand colors.  Make it happen this year.

Love to all!

Gratitude List:
1. Eagles, herons, vultures, Brant and Canada geese, flickers, red-bellies, robins, titmice
2. Oak, beech, holly, sweet gum, laurel, bay grass
3. Old and new, past and future, present
4. Teachers, activists, priestesses, dreamers, workers, makers, wonderers and wanderers
5. Family, old friends, new friends, acquaintances

May we walk in Beauty!  Beauty all around.

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,300 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Poem: Advent 5

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Birds are flying
in the quiet light
above the altar.

Our tears fall with the sound  of rustling wings,
the child sleeps in his mother’s arms,
and an old woman prays for the light to dawn.

For weeks now
we have walked
through our burning cities.

We have stepped carefully
among our shattered shards,
pieced our brokenness together,

and held the birds of despair and rage
captive in the cage of our hearts.

Our pens have bled anguish
onto the page.

Herod will go on
to murder Rachel’s children.

A sword will pierce your heart.

Where is the comfort
promised in the ancient songs?

Still

still

still

There is light.
There is breath.

Our pages have taken wing.
The birds fly between rays of sun
shining through sea glass
falling upon the altar.

The mother hands her baby
to the old ones for their blessing.

“Now,” sings the old man,
“now I can depart in peace.”

Gratitude List:
1. The impossible green of the moss on the bricks
2. Epiphany is coming
3. A Sunday afternoon without the Monday-ness that usually encroaches
4. Taking it one step at a time
5. Holding stories in the bowl of the heart

May we walk in Beauty!

A Poem Should Be

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After my long post the other day about meaning in poetry, I keep hearing Archibald MacLeish’s line in my head: “A poem should not mean but be.”

And Grace Paley’s “Responsibility.”

I am in the midst of trying to bring to birth a poem that I think might be titled “The Shaman’s Lexicon.”  Perhaps I need to write my own “Ars Poetica,” my own “Responsibility.” Getting caught up in the whirlwind of a compelling poetic idea reminds me again that despite the thought-provoking analysis of even the most careful critics, when it comes down to it, writing poetry is an art, and that like a visual artist, a poet is often following the trail of an obsessive idea.  The process is less about seeking meaning, perhaps, and more about relieving the curiosity of what lies beyond the next turning.

Gratitude List:
1. A Christmas Carol. Joss discovered Grandma Kreider’s unabridged copy with gorgeous illustrations and asked Jon to read it to him.  They spent hours with it, Jon explaining some of the denser bits and skipping some of the longer bits of of description, and finally made it through. Joss was engrossed.  I’ll admit to openly weeping when the Spirit of Christmas Future showed Scrooge the Cratchit house after the death of Tiny Tim.  I hope we can make that a tradition.  Now I am going to try to finish The Best Christmas Pageant Ever with them today.
2. Dawn in the hollow, sun shining on frost.  The chickens used to get me up and out to see it every day.  Now, most days, I am on the road before the dawn spreads her rosy fingers over the sky, and I have bequeathed the chickens to friend who will be a less distracted caretaker.  So I am grateful this morning for the wee sleekit mousie who needed repatriation in the upper fields.
3. Advice Rebound: I told a friend the other day, in that advice-giving tone that I can’t seem to make myself stop using: “You need to take a break, carve out time just for yourself.” I could feel those words bouncing back on me as I said them.
4. Dreams.  I am gleaning my dreams for the messages of the year, here in the bowl of Twelvenight.
5. The murmurings and mutterings of the children playing together in the background.

May we walk in Beauty!

Making Sense

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“A good poet tries to lead you into universal experience by leading you into the shocked concrete experience of one flower, one frog, one dog, one tree, one rooster. . . .” —Father Richard Rohr

A few weeks ago, when former US Poet Laureate Mark Strand died, I read a quotation by him about the twin streams of narrative and surrealism that are hallmarks of contemporary poetry.  For some reason, googlability and all, the exact quote eludes me, so you’ll have to trust me on the paraphrase.  My inner ears really perked up at the marriage of those two streams into one sentence, because, without trying to place myself directly into any particular style of poetry, I find myself drawn to both the narrative and the surreal in my own reading and writing.  Even the act of placing those two words into the same context–narrative AND surreal–is something of a surreal exercise itself.  The nature of narrative, of telling a story, is to make sense of a series of events.  Surrealism is a breaking up of sense, a marring of the waters of sense and meaning.

This week, I ran across Matthew Buckley Smith’s Prose Feature in 32 Poems magazine, titled “Why Poems Don’t Make Sense,” and it sent me deeper into this exploration of the meaning of meaning in poetry.  He suggests that sometimes poets engage in a cliquish game of “Keep-away,” writing with such obscure allusions (or with no definite referents at all) that only the in-crowd of poets and erudite thinkers could “get” the deeper meaning, which leaves the majority of people scratching their heads and saying they hate poetry because it doesn’t make sense, or else pretending that they really do find meaning where there is none or little to be had.  He also writes that some poets may deliberately avoid cliched and conventional patterns of meaning-making in their poetry as a way to fight the oppression of conventional thinking.

When I write poems, why do I intentionally obscure the meaning, slanting the sense into images that–depending on your personal reference points–could take on many different meanings? Why, as a reader, am I so often moved by poems that are a series of seemingly unrelated images that seem to suggest a story or an idea, but only in the spaces between the images?  I hope I am not being clubby, trying to make references that only the knowing and thoughtful in-group will understand.  I don’t think so.

His other point does resonate for me, however.  You’ll have to read his article to explore his ideas in detail, but here is my take on it.  We use language to build the structures upon which we hang our ideas.  Language is the scaffold upon which we develop whole structures of thought.  Language anchors and shapes and breathes life into thought and idea.  Conventional thinking, and conventional language, can end up being a pretty tight little box of a windowless building that doesn’t let in the light.  The air in there gets pretty stale.  When language–and its attendant ideas–become calcified and crippled into arthritic patterns, poetic image and word-use can find new ways to say things, can break windows into the walls of those airless rooms and build ornate new additions onto the old structures.  Poetry jars the cart of language out of its constricting wheel ruts.  This is why poets and writers can make good revolutionaries–if they know their work and do their jobs well.

Good poetry, I think, is more about finding your way by signposts than about following a map.  It gives readers a few cues and clues, sets us loose, and then waits for us to say, “Oh!  I recognize this territory!  I know this landscape.” A series of seemingly unrelated but compelling images can spring to life when sprinkled with the fairy dust of beautiful language or the hint of a story.  While I want to be able to understand enough of the controlling idea of a poem for it help me create some sort of sense, the most satisfying meaning that I derive from reading a good poem comes not through the intellectual front door, but through the back door of the emotions.  Meaning made through emotional connection rather than mental processing often appears in the form of wonder and holy surprise, even when it comes in a painful or angry guise.  Poetic understanding is gut-level understanding.  I have long been a fan of singer-songwriter Paul Simon.  I don’t think I know what he means about anything, but he always makes me feel something.

The sense-making in poetry is about getting behind the brain.  A poem is a door.  Sometimes poets make sturdy, locked, exclusive club doors that you can only enter if you are one of “us,” or if your can speak (or pretend to know) the password.  A really good and satisfying poem is an open and inviting doorway that frames the view in a particularly compelling way.  “Look!” it says.  “Stand and stare.  Take a deep breath.  Then tell me what you see.”

Good poetry, I think, holds a paradoxical perspective on language itself: it acknowledges the inadequacy of words to completely map an inner geography, and it also steps with reverence and awe into the sacred space that language creates between writer and reader.  Words are both inadequate and holy.

I Will Get to You

On paging through Shaking the Pumpkin: Traditional Poetry of the Indian North Americans:

I had to put the book down
and walk away,
the fire of it still running
up and down my spine

lest I fall into the pit of poetry
and lose myself there for the day,
for the year,
lose my family,
time,
direction.

Even this,
these black marks on the page,
these birds’ feet in the snow,
quiver on my skin
like coals.

***

Perhaps it’s the result of going so suddenly from teaching to resting, but now my brain is filling up with images and ideas, like a room crowded with children all clamoring for my attention.  Ah!  There’s the image: sometimes when class begins, I suddenly find myself in the center of a crowd of earnest and intent students all needing something from me–a pass, a signature, an explanation, a bit of comfort–and I cannot meet every need at once, but I want to look everyone in the eye and say, “I’ll get to you,” knowing that I haven’t the time or the energy to entirely fulfill the needs they carry.  Today, I opened that book, and suddenly the new poems and writing ideas that I have been putting off for so many weeks now have come crowding about me, begging for passes and signatures and permission to go get a drink.  Were I single and childless, I would make this a day of delicious writing, but I’ll need to put these voices off for just a little while yet.  I’ll get to you, Bright Ones.  I promise I will do my best.

 

Gratitude List:
1. The dimple in Ellis’s chin.  Where did that come from?  I don’t think that the Weaver or the Kreiders have chin-dimples.  Do they?  And why is it so endearing?
2. The poetry of Mara Eve Robbins, which fills me with delight and sadness, tears me up and heals me, whichever I need at the moment–her words always seem to come at just the right time, to be just the right thing.
3.  The writing of Barbara Kingsolver.  Why do I always take so long to get started on her books?  She writes with equal power of both internal and external landscapes.  I am listening to Flight Behavior these days, and all around me now I hear the whispers of butterfly wings.
4. The best Christmas ever.  That’s what the boys keep saying, and who am I to disagree?
5.  Dreams.  Listening.

May we walk in Beauty!

Poem: Advent 4

This one has to be a place-holder.  I have more shaping to do for this one, but the day has been long and these last hours full of grading freshman essays.  My head is fuzzy, and all I can think of is sleep.  Still, the day called for a poem:

Today we sing
not just to welcome the light
but to push back the darkness.

We stand at the gates of that city
holding hands,
voices raised together,
our songs joyful
and defiant,

our own brokenness holding
evergreen and bittersweet,
like the mended pot
on the altar.

Hush

The sun is setting out of the hollow now on this day before the the shortest night.  At about this time tomorrow (6:03 EST to be exact), we reach our furthest point on the outbreath of this trip around the sun.

Pause. Regroup.  A moment of holy hush.

These are the days for dreaming and contemplation, for listening for the messages.

What words, what images, will you glean from your dreamings to take with you into the coming wheel around the year?

 

Gratitude List:
1. The night has secrets and messages to offer.
2. Sunreturn is upon us.  I have made it to the center of another season of darkness. Now for the journey back around.
3. Anticipation
4. People believing that their work makes a difference.  It does, you know.
5. Blessings. Benedictions. Beannacht.

May we walk in Beauty.

Poem: Advent 3

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“There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”  –Leonard Cohen

This is how it is with brokenness
says the Mender of Pots:
The piece I placed so perfectly
to match that graceful curve,
and glued in place with confidence–

I had to break it off again
to make its neighbor fit.
Sometimes to reach the second stage
the first must be undone.
Heal and break, heal and break,
and heal again.

Sometimes the glue won’t hold.
Sometimes a shard will settle downward as it dries.
Sometimes the smallest pieces fall to powder.

The end result
will not resemble
exactly
the bowl that first was broken.

Light leaks through the lacy spaces.

Still–
the shape begins to once again
resemble the initial form
and the heart responds
with joy.

 

Gratitude List:
1.  Mending.  And breaking and mending.  And breaking and mending.  Necessary work.
2.  Light leaking through the lacy spaces.
3.  Yesterday’s brilliant student concert at LMH.  My colleagues in the music department are inspiring, and the students are incredibly gifted.
4.  I know that the sun is out there somewhere.  It will return.  It will return.
5.  How your words feed me, how they return me to myself.  May we always know the words to offer each other.  Like bread.  Like gifts.

May we walk in Beauty!