Gratitude List: 1. How time shifts grief to a different space. This is the week, thirteen years ago, when my first child would have been due. I lost the pregnancy early, at thirteen weeks, but I was new to the horror of loss in those days, and it hit me like a truck. Today, it sits differently in me. Still, it wants to be noticed, to be remembered. 2. The light is coming back. We still have a long way to walk until Sunreturn, but it will come again. This year is harder than some, the claustrophobia more intense and grinding, and it’s hit me earlier. I am grateful for whatever lessons it has to teach me. 3. Coffee and chocolate 4. Getting it done, slowly but surely 5. Innovation and change
Gratitude List: 1. Advent, expectancy, hope 2. Getting older (I am not finding parts of this particularly enjoyable right now, and I put it here to remind me that it really is a wonderful thing despite the grouchy bits) 3. Hot coffee and cold water 4. Cozy warm morning house 5. A refreshing break (I am still holding back a bit on whether I really want to get back into the swing of things, but I’ll be ready when the dawn comes)
May we walk in Beauty!
“The heart is your student, for love is the only way we learn.”
—Rumi
Poet Joy Harjo, from 2012:
“Visited with my cousin George Coser, Jr yesterday at the kitchen table. He’s a gift. Always something profound among the stories. The sacred lies at the root of the mundane. And every word is a power element. Each word or sound, whether thought, written or spoken grows our path, the path of our generation, the children, grandchildren, the Earth. . . . We become the ancestors. A sense of play gives a lightness of being. So get out there and play—and be kind while you’re at it. To yourself, too.”
Help me to journey beyond the familiar
and into the unknown.
Give me the faith to leave old ways
and break fresh ground with You.
Christ of the mysteries, I trust You
to be stronger than each storm within me.
I will trust in the darkness and know
that my times, even now, are in Your hand.
Tune my spirit to the music of heaven,
and somehow, make my obedience count for You.
—The Prayer of St. Brendan (attributed to Brendan)
The Wild Geese
by Wendell Berry
Horseback on Sunday morning,
harvest over, we taste persimmon
and wild grape, sharp sweet
of summer’s end. In time’s maze
over fall fields, we name names
that went west from here, names
that rest on graves. We open
a persimmon seed to find the tree
that stands in promise,
pale, in the seed’s marrow.
Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear,
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye
clear. What we need is here.
Murder of Crows in the trees outside my parents’ house
Bittersweet—I know it’s an invasive and a pest, but I love it.
The ones who feel Injustice in their bones and then stand up
Fuzzy nap companions
The autumn slant of light that makes everything shine
Thoughts for Monday:
“It’s important to be brave and to not keep silent.” —yesterday’s Children’s Message in church
“Perhaps you were brought to this place for just such a time as this.” —paraphrase from book of Esther
“We have all hurt someone tremendously, whether by intent or accident. We have all loved someone tremendously, whether by intent or accident. it is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep responsibility, I think, to be an organ and a blade. But, learning to forgive ourselves and others because we have not chosen wisely is what makes us most human. We make horrible mistakes. It’s how we learn. We breathe love. It’s how we learn. And it is inevitable.”
—Nayyira Waheed
“Only those who attempt the absurd
will achieve the impossible.”
—M. C. Escher
Blessing for the Visitor
by Beth Weaver-Kreider
May you who wander, who sojourn, who travel,
may you who make your way to our door
find rest for your tired feet and weary heart,
food to fill your bellies and to nourish your minds,
and company to bring you cheer and inspiration.
May you find comfort for your sorrows,
belonging to ease your loneliness,
and laughter to bring you alive.
And when your feet find themselves again upon the road,
may they remember the way back to our door.
“A seed sown in the soil makes us one with the Earth. It makes us realize that we are the Earth. That this body of ours is the panchabhuta-the five elements that make the universe and make our bodies. The simple act of sowing a seed, saving a seed, planting a seed, harvesting a crop for a seed is bringing back this memory-this timeless memory of our oneness with the Earth and the creative universe. There’s nothing that gives me deeper joy than the work of protecting the diversity and the freedom of the seed.” —Vandana Shiva
“I’m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.” —George McGovern
For the month leading up to Thanksgiving, I followed the lead of a friend and committed to daily gratitude practice that viewed gratitude as an act of resistance, to publicly and intentionally seek out things to be grateful for in the face of forces that seek to demoralize and oppress. To label each grateful paragraph in the first part of the month of November as an act of resistance helped me to keep that perspective, that to be grateful and kind and hopeful in the face of all that seeks to destroy goodness in the world is a primal act of resistance.
Yesterday, in conversation with some of my beloveds, we talked about resistance, about the man who jumped across a police barrier to take down a confederate flag, about the Dutch church that has been holding services for twenty-seven days to protect a family from deportation, about people who are writing letters and protesting on behalf of someone who has experienced a shameful injustice.
We may not be committing the big acts of bold resistance at this moment. Your life may be caught in the business of staying afloat or tending to the needs of your beloveds. Still, we can make it all a resistance. Small acts, little conversations, openness to the moment—opportunities to resist despair and destruction and to create new patterns and stories abound:
* Smile at people and make eye contact. Ask them about themselves. Open hearts are a great antidote to the fear and rage that float around us in our environment.
* Offer people food. Share meals. Experience the flavors of the world together. Develop culinary curiosity about foodways around the world. Watch Anthony Bourdain together.
* Keep your eyes on those who turn inward, who keep to the corners. Be a safe place, a docking spot for ships that are sailing through hostile waters.
*Build bridges with your words. I don’t have to agree with someone to be civil. I can be kind and open in conversation and still maintain a fierce and steady stance on the side of justice. Disagreeing with someone doesn’t always mean attacking. I am more likely to change someone’s mind in a civil conversation than in a battlefield conversation.
* It IS about changing minds and hearts. It is about setting fears and anxieties to rest. The destroyers rely on fear. They’ve weaponized and monetized it. We can walk into the world with courage and draw out the bravery of those around us. Open hearts are brave hearts.
* Speak up for justice. We don’t have to go into conversations blazing with fury and rage against the president. But we can (and should) call out the racist and misogynistic and xenophobic language. We can graciously and civilly state our own desire for more grace and civility and diversity.
* Don’t be afraid to call out your own “side.” Politicians on every side make greedy and unjust choices. Name it when you see it.
* Be grateful. Be joyful. Dance. Find delight and awe in nature. And children. And small animals. All of that—joy and delight and tenderness and curiosity and awe—is active resistance to the tide of destruction.
* Be ready. There may come moments when we are called upon to take the bigger step, the bolder step, the more dangerous or fierce step. We can position ourselves so we are ready to do the thing that must be done when we are called upon to do it.
* Support those who are taking the big and fierce steps right now. Letters and public praise for the ones who taking public stands for justice go a long way to establishing a culture that resists destruction.
*What are your daily acts of resistance?
Gratitude List: 1. Small and large acts of Resistance. Acts of love. Acts of hope. Acts of kindness. 2. Oak trees 3. Family time: games, food, stories, puppy and cat, laughter, wrangling the serious issues 4. Shelter 5. A good rest
May we walk in Beauty!
Sunday’s Treats: “Let my anger be the celebration we were never / supposed to have.” —Jacqui Germain
I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness. It’s right in front of me, if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.
—Brené Brown
“The eyes of the Future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time.” —Terry Tempest Williams
“You’ve seen my descent.
Now watch my rising.”
—Rumi
“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.”—Thomas Merton
“For poems are not words, after all, but fires for the cold, ropes let down to the lost, something as necessary as bread in the pockets of the hungry.” —Mary Oliver
Gratitude List: 1. Anticipating a family day 2. Safety 3. Creative outlets 4. Pumpkins (Yes, even the spices that do with them–feel free to judge me.) 5. The ones who fight for justice
May we walk in Beauty! *****
Wherever You Stand by Beth Weaver-Kreider
“Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.” –Rumi
Be the spark, the knowingness, the mother of the moment, be the dream, the home, and the hope. Wherever you stand, be the stone and the wind. Yes, be the wind in the trees of the soul of a place. Wherever you stand, be a memory, a hope of the future remembering how once we all lived together in peace. *****
“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one’s neighbor—such is my idea of happiness.” —Leo Tolstoy
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness. It’s right in front of me, if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” —Brené Brown
“You pray for the hungry. Then you feed them.
That is how prayer works.” —Pope Francis
“Allow dark times to season you.” —Hafiz
“Oh, to love what is lovely, and will not last!” —Mary Oliver
“I don’t have to figure it all out. I don’t have to be perfect for every moment. I just need to be Present. I just need to show up.” —Beth Weaver-Kreider (My past self is preaching to my present self.)
“The ego forgets that it’s supposed to be the little traveler with its bindle bag over its shoulder, following behind [not ahead] the radiant Soul who walks as more wise, more tender, more loving, more peaceful trailblazer throughout our lives.
Ego aspires sometimes to wear the garments of the Soul, which are way too big, making the ego trip over the miles of radiant robes it tries to wrap itself in, instead of following the light those robes give off. And tending to the Soul’s needs, the Soul’s directions.
Yet with Soul in the lead, and ego following the lead of the Soul, then we can fulfill the vision of the Holy People…” —Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes
“Driven by the forces of love, the fragments of the world are seeking one another.” —Teilhard de Chardin
How do you enter? How do you come? Photo of a photo on the wall of a retirement center.
Gratitude List: 1. Doorways 2. Dreams 3. Sleep 4. Sun in the holler 5. Hopeful baking
May we walk in Beauty!
Words for a Golden Friday: “Who would I be if I didn’t live in a world that hated women?” —Jessica Valenti
“The heart is right to cry
even when the smallest drop of light, of love, is taken away
Perhaps you may kick, moan, scream—in a dignified silence,
but you are right to do so in any fashion…until God returns to you.”
―Hafiz
“All water is holy water.”
―Rajiv Joseph
“The mullahs of the Islamic world and the mullahs of the Hindu world and the mullahs of the Christian world are all on the same side. And we are against them all.”
―Arundhati Roy
“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness.
Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.”
―Scott Adams
“You know what breaks me, when someone is visibly excited about a feeling or an idea or a hope or a risk taken, and they tell you about it but preface it with: “Sorry, this is dumb but—.”Don’t do that. I don’t know who came here before me, or who conditioned you to think you had to apologize or feel obtuse. But not here. Dream so big it’s silly. Laugh so hard it’s obnoxious. Love so much it’s impossible. And don’t you ever feel unintelligent. And don’t you ever apologize. And don’t you ever shrink so you can squeeze yourself into small places and small minds. Grow. It’s a big world. You fit. I promise.”
―Owen Lindley
“The bond of our common humanity is stronger than our fears and prejudices.” ―Jimmy Carter
“The reality is we have more in common with the people we’re bombing than the people we’re bombing them for.” ―Russell Brand
Gratitude of Resistance Twenty-Seven: Oak leaves. I find myself getting obsessed with oaks at this time of year. The maples are mostly bare, and the walnuts have long ago dropped their leaves. But the oaks muscle through, holding onto their leaves longer than the rest, all shades of brown and ochre and umber and maroon. When we go walking, it’s oak leaves my eyes are finding: chestnut oak, white oak, red oak, pin oak. . .
Wishing you joy on this day of thankfulness for harvest and for beloveds. If family is difficult for you, I wish you friends, peace, quiet reflection, and grace in the minefields of conversations.
Gratitude of Resistance Twenty-Six: This Break. This Rest. This Time out of Time. I will do my work, yes, but I will also sit here in my pajamas and watch the sun come into the holler. I will go to the post office to mail some things, and then walk down to the coffee shop at the bike shop and drink something special. I will have some time when it is only me in my own head. And I will spend beloved time with my beloveds.
Sunday evening in Lancaster, in the week after the snow,roses were still blooming, and the hips are swelling. If you don’t put chemicals on your roses, now is the time to harvest the hips for tea.
Gratitude of Resistance Twenty-Five: The McCaskey Gospel Choir and their amazing director Ms. Stevens. Energy, verve, commitment, delight, depth. . .they brought such a fine musical program to our school yesterday, and finished up by inviting our singing groups up onto the stage to perform the last song with them. Such a rich experience. All day, that moment of their day was one of the things my students were expressing gratitude for.
A field of waving corn is part of the Field Hymns show now up at the Freiman Stoltzfus Gallery in Lancaster. Now until November 29.
Gratitude Twenty-Four: The hymn sing at Freiman Stoltzfus’s Gallery in Lancaster. An annual event, Freiman and his friends bring in wooden benches to line the gallery, fill a table with a delicious appetizer feast, and invite musicians and a song leader and poetry readers for an evening of harvest celebration in this space filled with Freiman’s paintings. Looking a painting of a cornfield feels like the painting is hinting at the secret of the universe. Music and good food and beautiful words in the midst of these sublime paintings is a deeply spiritual experience. I fell so blessed and honored to participate.
May we walk in Beauty!
I wrote this poem for this year’s hymn sing (I need to acknowledge that the title is somewhat borrowed from a Jan Richardson poem, “And the Table Will Be Wide”):
The Table is Wide (for Freiman Stoltzfus)
May your table be wide,
may your arms be laden
with the bounty of harvest,
may your heart be willing.
May your feast be filling,
may your beloved’s eyes
be filled with laughter,
may your table be wide.
May your doors be open,
may strangers be welcome
to sit at your table,
may your feast be filling.
May your heart be willing,
may stories flow like wine
poured into glasses,
may your doors be open.
May your table be wide.
Mockingbird Chronicles 