Sleeping Out of Doors

Little Sister

Gratitude List:
1. (What has held you?) Falling asleep to the sound of crickets and peepers, watching the fireflies twinkling in the feathery leaves of the walnut tree.  I have been reading of their decline, but have not noticed it here in the Hollow.  If anything, this year they are more prolific.
2. (What satisfies?) Watching how the children made an immediate home in the big tent, how they long to live outside.
3. (What delights?) My seven-year-old taskmaster.  Yesterday, it was all I could do to catch a moment to myself.  If I wandered away from the garage, he would find me and give me a ticket: No Parking, and tell me to get back to cleaning the garage for Monday’s shares.  He claimed he wanted to help, and he certainly did help quite a bit, but he also sat on a chair and “suggested” the next thing that I should do.
4. (Where did you meet the Great Mystery?) In flavorful food, in the morning sun on walnut leaves, in the whispery sound of a small person playing behind me.
5. (What draws you forward?) Three days of solitude approach.  I leave tomorrow morning for the Jesuit Center.  What an excited little monk-person I am.  How will I find stillness when I am squirming so much with the very anticipation?  (I think I will manage.)

May we walk in Beauty!

Panda and Panther

Panda and Panther
I am rather proud of these two paintings which I managed despite the fact that the canvases constantly twitched and squinted.  Panther requested that I paint green eyes on his eyelids, which meant that he went around with his eyes closed for a while.  When he smudged his paint, he touched it up himself.  He has requested that we buy ourselves a family set of face paints. I think I will.

Gratitude List:
1. A day of play
2. Public spaces that are created specifically for children. (Yes, I know it’s a lucrative business.  Still, the Hands on House is particularly well done.  My boys were some of the older ones there, and they became obsessed with keeping the factory room tidied and organized.)
3. The determination of a small child to participate in the cleaning of the garage, the preparation for the first share of the season on Monday.
4. Mist in the mornings.  Makes me want to hike to Rivendell.
5. Courage, which I think is different than bravery, because the courageous person recognizes that she is terrified, but she takes the next breath anyway.  I have friends who are deeply courageous, though perhaps they don’t realize how deeply courageous they are.  (Root is couer = Heart.) I want to start a poem like Mary Oliver’s “Wild Geese,” only to say:
You do not have to be brave.
You only have to fill your aching lungs with one more breath.
You do not have to wait until you no longer feel afraid.
You only have to step from this moment into the next one.

May we walk in Beauty, in Couer-age.

Fire and Water

Fire

Today is St. John’s Day.  Fire and Water.  Bonfire and baptism.  Transformation.

Gratitude List:
1. (What do you hear?) On a morning heavy with rain in the air, the sound of a train in the deep distance, near the River.
2. (What gives you fire?) Clearing spaces for the projects at hand.  If you want to make a fire in the woods of your life, you have to clear away the brush and detritus, eh?
3. (What cleanses and transforms you?) A fresh start every morning.  Tabula rasa.  Solitude.
4. (What has been hard?) Juggling family and personal writing and being part of the farm and scheduling school prep and finding time to be with friends.  When I lay it out like this, the thing that I find really frustrating–the juggling–brings me a list of all the things that I am most grateful for.
5. (What will you pay attention to today?) I am going to listen especially carefully for the source moments of conflict between the boys so that I can help them work it through rather than simply reacting.

May we walk in Beauty!

It’s wildlife dreams right now.  The other night I was trying to distract three hungry swimming bears from eating my friends.  Last night, skunks and badgers.  Oh, and a baby bear.  And puppies.  Somebody had one of the baby skunks on the table in a little wooden baby chair.  It was sitting back and enjoying all the little tidbits it was being fed.  I found the other one, and a black and white puppy, wandering around the yard near the badger nest, and thought I would make a joke about two black and white puppies.  It was really funny in my dream.  The mother badger (or stoat?) was taking care of a bear cub among her babies.  At first I thought it was a giant rabbit, but it turned out to be a bear.

St. John’s Eve

Tea
And here is the tea I made using the three roots I harvested, along with a few others I had in my cupboard, and some slices of ginger root as well.  Roots teas are simmered rather than steeped, and my kitchen smelled earthy and wholesome during the process.

I am going to slip out of poetry-writing mode for a little while now, as I begin the summer process of compiling and editing, sorting and weeding the writings that I have now.  Today is St. John’s Eve, the day before the feast day of St. John the Baptist.  Throughout time and cultural spaces, this celebration has changed and shifted, collected some of the meanings of the Solstice which has passed only days ago.

Midsummer marks the moment in the northern hemisphere when the sun begins to lose its power (though we don’t feel it for many months yet).  St. John’s Day carries with it the transformative weight of the symbolic gift of baptism that St. John created, so the dying light is also representative of our own dying lights and our own transformative resurrections throughout our lives.  The cycles continue.  Change is not only possible, not only inevitable, but welcome.

Paradoxically, while the Sun-king is overthrown as the days begin to shorten, his power continues strong, and flares up for the next season.  I think this is the time for me to take the words that I have written and subject them to a baptism, watch them transform.  I have read that in some celebrations of St. John’s Day, a snake is one of the primary symbols, the creature who sheds its skin, leaving its dead self behind, while the living part continues on, sleek and shining, transformed.  That is what I seek for my words in this season.  I will continue to write gratitude lists for daily practice, and occasional poems and ramblings as the Muse speaks.

I found this traditional St. John’s Day poem:
Green is gold
Fire is wet
Future’s told
Dragon’s met.

May you meet your dragon with courage and aplomb in this season as you step into your future.

Gratitude List:
1. Date night was wonderful last night.  Friends gave us a gift certificate to the Accomac.  I don’t know that I have ever sat down in a restaurant and said to myself that I could order whatever I wanted, with no limits, but this is precisely what we did last night.  Jon had a Wild Boar Bibimbap with kimchi for appetizer, and a Petit Mignon with herbed potatoes and scorched asparagus with preserved lemon.  I had Chilled Sweet Pea Soup with lotus pods (like Odysseus’s crew members I might have chosen to stay in that land of the lotus forever) and Blackened Swordfish with summer squash and herb sauce, along with the asparagus.  For dessert, he had an Accomac version of a hot fudge sundae and I had Bananas Foster (though they don’t flambee it tableside on the wooden porch).  We shared a cosmopolitan made with cranberry juice and jalapeno-infused vodka.  I think I will be infusing some jalapenos this summer–it seems like such a medicinal thing to use for a fancy drink, but I love that heat.
2. All the adults who care for and offer attention to my children.  I grew up in such a nest as well, with wise and friendly and funny adults who took time for me, and I am incredibly grateful for the adults who create the same protected space for my own children.  I am thinking right now of Sandra, in particular, who has been their summertime companion for years now.  Now when they are probably old enough to be required to entertain themselves on farm days, they cannot do without her, and this is as it should be.
3. Cool winds announcing rain.  The plink of raindrops on leaves.
4. Cycles and changes. Transformation.  Leaving the old skin behind to live in the new and tender and shining skin.
5. Layers of sound in the distance and nearby in the morning.  Birdsong mingled with the human sounds of the day’s beginning.

May we walk in Beauty!

Roots and Lune (or, A Lune in June)

 Welcome to the renovated Mockingbird Chronicles!Roots

Not a particularly interesting photo to inaugurate my new blog design, I know, and Google Collage randomized the pics, so it doesn’t automatically show the process.  Still, this is a project I want to document.  On Monday (Solstice), I went to my friend Sarah’s house and dug up a burdock.  I planted it out in the woods’ edge where it should help to break up the clay.  I took a piece of the root, and then harvested some curly dock root and some dandelion root.  In the bottom center, the roots are all washed and waiting to be peeled (curly dock top left, burdock bottom left, and dandelion to the right).  Right center: Peeled.  I let them dry overnight, and the next morning Jon said what I was thinking: “They look like bones.”  Burdock is top left, dandelion top right, and curly dock is in the bottom right.  The bottom left photo shows them in their jars after about four hours in the dryer (dandelion and curly dock on left, burdock on right). Now for tea.

Today’s prompt is to write a lune, which is sort of haiku-like, and can be on any subject.  It’s a syllable-count poem of 5/3/5.  These tiny lines of two or three (as in lune and cinquain) are really challenging.  I might try some of these that break the line endings, but I have a feeling that there needs to be a purposeful ending to break up the longer lengths.  It might be interesting to do a series of lune and haiku, interspersing them.  And a lune, of course, is moon-shaped, so it might be interesting to take the sense of that instead of the specific directions and do a 7/5/3/5/7, or even a 9/7/5/3/5/7/9.  Oooh.  The possibilities!

Harbor the wildness.
Look around.
Settle into green.

Gratitude List:
1. Shakti energy.  That is to say, the will and the fire to find the way and to dive in to the process.
2. The roadside flowers of late June: always Queen Anne’s Lace, Chicory, and Day Lily, but also Buttercup, Sweet Melilot, Hag’s Taper, and lavender bubbles of Vetch.
3. This question for pondering: What is your greatest joy?  I want to make sure that one category of my questions is about joy.  What brings you joy in this moment?  What memory brings you joy?  What will you do for yourself today to bring joy to yourself (or others)?  (Thank you, Miss Jan.)
4. Yoga.  Stretching the spine, balancing, breathing–they’re so much more than the simple acts of stretch and balance and breath.  Those are words that fill other spaces and other meanings throughout the day.
5. Date night tonight!  I don’t know when we last planned a date for just us. I feel so adult.

May we walk in Beauty!

Little Sisters at Work

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The Garden at Herbs from the Labyrinth.  The Little Sisters are happy in their work, and a baby elephant (Ganesha?) helps to keep the order of the labyrinth.

Odd dreams last night after I finally got back to dozing post-insomnia.  My cell phone appeared for the first time in my dreams.  I needed it to take pictures on the beach.  And I dreamed that my younger sister Valerie was actually older than I am and that we had another younger sister with a very different temperament than any of the rest of us.

The Poetry Prompt for today is to write a memory poem.
Here is a picture of me and Suzy and Jennifer before Jennifer went to America for repairs:
IMAG0400_1

On the Lakeshore I could look out and see
distant America where my grandparents
sat over breakfast every day thinking of me
in their light-filled Victorian house
with the wooden banisters and sliding doors.

Jennifer, my doll with the golden hair
who had gone to America to be repaired
sat on their table and dined with them
longing for the day she would be home with me
and Ed Bear and Suzy in her red dress
who I carried under my arm.

Gratitude List:
1. Wise women.  Yesterday’s encounters with Phyllis, with Sarah and Julia.  If I had a daughter, I would send her to Sense of Wonder Camp.
2. Watching and listening to the bees, the Little Sisters, hard at work in the garden, zzzing through sunbeams like liquid light itself.
3. This rain, this moon, this strawberry rhubarb pie.
4. The will to begin.  And there’s an odd gratitude hidden under the rug of those words.  I am grateful for last night’s insomnia. During these bouts my brain functions in a circular fashion.  I am neither wholly asleep nor wholly awake.  I have a project hoard that has been feeling weighty, and last night my brain brought me back again and again to the question of whether the creative thought of someday getting to this work is a good thing, or whether it’s just another stress.  Last night when my mind circled back around to it, I started to imagine my life without this project in it, and I felt such a great relief.  I am going to have some big bags for Re-Uzit this week.  Ah, relief.
5. Burdock, curly dock, dandelion (sounds like a new version of duck, duck, goose)–I have roots of all three plants on my counter.  Today I will grate them and then dry them in the food processor, and use them in teas.  Researching them brought me again to some researches on wild greens, particularly two varieties of wild lettuce that grow on the farm.  I might start experimenting with them a little.

May we walk in Beauty!

Longest Day

EWK 4 001
Happy Solstice!
Here we are at the longest day, the shortest night, the time of fire and of rampant growth.
Where do you find your fire?
This is the pollywog season, when the water creatures grow legs and arms and begin their movement onto the earth.
What is the force that spurs you toward action and change and transformation, that enables you to become a creature of more than one element?

May this cycle be fruitful for you.
May the sun bring you the transformation and direction you seek.
May you green, may you grapple and grasp, may you grow.

I did not post a poem yesterday–my pint-sized party planner was up early and demanding help with the Father’s Day preparations.  Here, for yesterday and this morning, both, is a Cinquain. a syllable-count poem of five lines: 2/4/6/8/2, and a rhyme scheme of ababb, abaab, or abccb.  I chose the third rhyme pattern.

Evolve Love

Evolve.
We grow. We move.
We struggle to transform.
We walk together through the storm.
We love.

Gratitude List:
1. That moon, right?
2. Here comes the sun
3. Gina Sue’s red Russian kale.  How that will nourish me this week!
4. A little morning solitude.
5. Now the summer really begins.

May we find our fire.  May we walk in Beauty!

Clouds and Dragonflies

IMAG0278
The road home.

Gratitude List:
1. The excitement of a couple small people preparing for Father’s Day surprises/
2. Clouds
3. Dragonflies and damselflies
4. The transformation of pollywogs to bullfrogs
5. Honey

May we walk in Beauty!

List Poem(s)

IMAG0297-COLLAGE
I managed to get a list poem written this afternoon while I was sitting by the pond watching the boys play.  Let’s call this one

June Afternoon
A List

Sun dapple on pond, sunlight and shadow on lily pads.
Ivory lotus lilies frozen in time and sunlight
in the corner where the cool spring feeds the pond.
Undulating shadow-shine of water
reflected on the low arms of cherry and of maple.
A dozen damselflies loop and dart and hover,
sun flickering through their shining wings.
A dragonfly bends an iris-leaf lance and settles into a sunbeam.
Muddy merchildren splash and babble in the shallows.
Yeep of startled frog, booming glumph of granddaddy croaker.
Percolating pop of pollywogs sipping through lily pads.
Wispy white clouds in the small circle of sky seen through green.
The constant swish and whisper of Cabin Creek,
the chatter of the little falls,
the shush and hustle at the narrows.
Sweet scent of crushed pond fern and honeysuckle.

And here’s a free-association word-list I found in my journal from 4-10-12.  I think I ought to do a word pool every week or so.  It’s such fun to come back to.  Why did I put those words together, but for the sounds, or the feeling in the mouth, in the brain?

Word Pool
A List

nuthatch
frazzled creeper
window column
prodigal peeping peachfuzz
windows uptight
limpid pirate
pyromaniac reverberation
aquamarine
amethyst exclamation
liminal window minimal
review teleportation manual
threshold
outside
vermilion
vermilion intellectual
vapid estimation
vapourous mossy mist
vavoom
varoom
insipid limpid
crestfallen intellectual
vibrant (stuck on vee)
indivisible
kerfuffle
persnickled
endumbration
impartiality
intrepid

Cycle the Solstice

CtS CtS2
Today is Cycle the Solstice, a local bike ride that takes riders through farm country, stopping for rest breaks at farms and farm stands.  We’re one of those stops.

Day 10 of All the Things I Wish I Had Said (While You Were Still Here)
The Prompt is to write a List Poem.
I think I am going to work on it this morning while we wait for the riders to come, and post it here later in the day.

Gratitude List:
1. Cool Morning
2. Laughter
3. Tears
4. Streams and Rivers
5. Learning new things

May we walk in Beauty!